That he truly cared struck me in my chest, and his hand working me over felt like he was milking me, drawing the pleasure from my body like he’d always known how. As the peak hit, a sob tore through my throat. Embarrassed, and still coming, I tried to choke it down, but I was feeling too many things at once, and I couldn’t stop it.
How humiliating.
I tried to hide my face from him, but he wouldn’t let me. After stroking me through the end of the orgasm, he cradled me in his arms like a baby.
“Shh, shh, shh,” he murmured, kissing my head as tears poured down my cheeks.
This was nightmare fuel—sobbing because a man had finally given me a decent hand job.
God, I was fucking ridiculous.
“Now, now,” he whispered softly. “I don’t know what kind of negative bullshit you’ve got going on in your head right now, but there’s nothing wrong with getting emotional after sex. It happens to lots of people, and there’s nothing wrong with it. Let your tears flow, baby.”
Of course, now that he’d given me permission, the need to cry disappeared like smoke and I let out an annoyed huff.
He chuckled. “Wait, are you mad because you stopped crying?”
I smashed my face into his chest. “Shut up.”
He laughed a little harder, his body shaking mine. “I’d hate to see you cry because you’re sad, darlin’. But, if I gave it to you so good that it brought tears to your eyes, then I am going to walk around like a rooster all day long.”
I sniffled and smacked his chest.
“Eyes up here,” he softly commanded.
I did as he asked, wiping away the last of the moisture.
“Can you tell me what the emotion was about?” He held up his hand. “It doesn’t have to be about anything. It might have just been a physical release, but?—”
I cut him off with a shake of my head. “That contributed, of course. But it was more than that.”
He touched my jaw. “Do you feel comfortable telling me why?”
I thought about my answer, and tears started to spill again. “It’s stupid.”
“I can guarantee you it’s not. And yes, while you make me so happy that I can’t help but laugh, I will never,evermake fun of your emotions.”
I sniffed, trying to gather my words.
“Last night, you gave me one of the best orgasms that anyone has ever given me. Like, including myself. And now you’ve done it again. So, like, after years of men being so selfish, of me wondering if I was crazy thinking that there could be something better out there for me, it’s like you came in and said,You’re not crazy, Rowdy. You just needed someone who fucking cared.”
My throat ached as I tried to hold back the tears, but I couldn’t, and I dashed them away as quickly as possible. Kess squeezed my hands, then used his thumb to wipe away the still-falling tears.
“You’re not crazy, Rowdy. You just needed someone who fucking cared,” he said, emotion tinging his words. “And that a couple of hand jobs represent the best orgasms you’ve ever had really makes me wanna go bang some heads.”
That sweetness, of course, brought up the biggest secret I had. I turned my head, and hetsked.
“Whatever is making you turn your head like that is a lie. Nothing that is real about you would ever turn me away from you,” he said, his tone so confident that I wanted to believe him.
“Bet I can prove you wrong,” I said, shaking my head before hiding my face against his neck.
“I bet you can’t,” he said. “I bet you can tell me whatever is making you feel this way right now, and I’ll be okay.We’llbe okay.”
“Fine,” I said, “but it’s a doozy.”
“Lay it on me.”
I hesitated, felt the hard stop in my soul. But his face made me want to jump into the void, and I knew it was worth the risk to tell him.
