A bark of laughter escaped my lips. “Oh my God. How could I forget? We read the note she sent home with you, and…”
“I don’t think she intended for y’all to laugh as hard as you did.”
“Oh, absolutely not. She was big on corporal punishment and assumed we would take up the banner to ‘chastise’ you appropriately for your grave misdeeds.” I shook my head. “There was no way we were going to put a hand on you, and we let her know that when we met with her and the principal the next day. We then showed the principal her letter, and she was written up.”
Holden did a little fist pump, and I laughed. “What was it that you had told her, again?”
“We were learning about World War II, and when she got to the Japanese internment camps, she did a fake-jokey Asian accent. I said that wasn’t funny, and she said I was being oversensitive, since your parents immigrated after all that. I told her that if genius skips a generation, her children would be brilliant.”
I laughed so hard I snorted. “You stole that insult from Pops.”
By that point Holden could only laugh and nod. Soon we could barely walk for laughing so hard, and we had to lean against each other to stay upright. We were so loud that the birds in the trees above us flapped off, annoyed.
“That was Robert’s go-to insult when people gave us shit out in public.”
Holden nodded, his laughter dying off. “I remember. He made that one guy so mad, but Pops was like twice his size, and the guy wasn’t willing to get into it.”
“Amen,” I said, linking our arms again. “Pops was one of a kind.”
“Never duplicated,” Holden said, his voice a little shaky.
I took a deep breath, knowing I needed to say this next part right. “You do understand that falling for Major doesn’t mean I love your Pops any less, don’t you? My love for Robert will never be past tense.”
Holden went quiet but nodded despite the fresh tears. We walked in silence for a few yards, and then he began to speak. “I do know that, Dad. I’ve resented at least one thing every day since he died. Even falling in love—I hated that I couldn’t talk to Pops about it.”
“Pops saw the direction you and Beckett were going in. He was so proud of you for fighting through the fear you had to be feeling every time you went out the door. He was proud that you left that asshole in Portland, and he was glad you were open to falling in love with Beckett. Beckett was, is, one of our favorite people in the whole world, and one of the few we felt was worthy of you.”
Holden went quiet, caught on a thought, dipping his chin as his cheeks reddened. “Beckett’s one of the best men I’ve ever known, and an even better father. Watching him hold these deep, in-depth conversations with Ru… it means so much. Even the way he brings in his own dad is amazing. I know they had theirproblems, but Beckett works hard to make sure that he’s as much a part of our family as anyone.”
Holden stopped and shook his head. “I love the life we’re building together, and I hate, hate,hatethat it doesn’t include Pops.”
“It does include Pops, Hold,” I said, kicking a pebble off the sidewalk. “Pops is in everything you do. In all your decisions—and all your jokes, especially the bad ones. And the way you raise your son… Pops is very much there. The way you make sure that Ru knows how much he’s loved? You bring Pops in every day. I promise.”
Holden inhaled sharply, his hand going to his chest. “Thanks, Dad.”
While our emotions settled, we quietly completed the loop around the small neighborhood park.
“The thing about Major is that he’s never going to try to take Pops’s place,” I reiterated as we crossed the street, going back toward home. “He’s only ever gonna be himself.”
Holden slowed his stroll, wrapping his arm around me. “I do believe that. Once I could see it… I think he’s as in love with you as Pops was. And you need that. I mean, everyone needs love, but you thrive when you’re in love. I don’t know if you know that about yourself. But it’s like you’re lit from within, and while I hate that it’s not Pops making you look this way, I am genuinely grateful that you’re able to be happy again.”
“Thank you. I would do what I needed to, to take care of myself… but having your approval means the world to me.”
After making our way back to the cul-de-sac, we let ourselves into the house to the sound of laughter.
In the living room, Major had Ru on his shoulders. My grandson was sticking out his tongue in concentration as he reached for a bouncy ball that had settled into the light fixture.
“Well, well, well. What is going on here?” I asked.
“I was trying to show Major how high I could bounce the ball, and it got stuck. Major said he was tall enough to get it himself, but I said I wanted to get it.”
Major’s eyes found mine, and his smile was brilliant. Sincere.
Steady.
CHAPTER 27
major
