As we were pulling ourselves back together, Ru walked in with his headset around his neck. “Why are you all crying? Is it because Major loves Jiji?”
We startled him with our laughter, because of course he’d been able to see what Major and I had together.
“Yes, but these are happy tears,” Beckett said, patting his hand over his heart.
“Dad?” Holden said. “Can we… I miss our walks. Can we just walk together?”
I kissed Major’s cheek and took Holden’s hand. “Of course.”
As we hit the sidewalk, Holden took my arm in his. We didn’t say much at first, making our way around the cul-de-sac and out to the main road. This was an older neighborhood, so the sidewalks were broad, and most of the lawns were well-kept. It had always been one of my favorite things, taking walks with Robert and Holden.
As we made our way down the block, I was reminded how strange it was to have raised a son who now towered over me. I remembered the day he’d passed me up. We’d measured and he had me beat by a good half inch. He’d been only thirteen.
“What’s that smile?” Holden asked, tightening his grip on me.
“I was just remembering how smug Pops got when he compared our heights and discovered that you were, in fact, taller than me.”
Holden’s chuckle was a little watery, but it was sincere. “That was probably my single proudest day as a kid. Not that it meant anything, because you were still my dad, but it felt like an accomplishment.”
“I suppose it was.” I said, leaning against his shoulder. “Pops wasn’t nearly as smug when you passed him up, though.”
“I take it back—thatwas my proudest day.”
We made our way to the end of the block, and I gestured over to the park. “They’ve recently upgraded the walking path, and I haven’t had a chance to check it out yet.”
“Let’s do it.”
We both double-checked oncoming traffic, neither of us willing to take risks after all we’d been through. We made it across the street and hit the path at a good stride.
“I love the flowers here,” Holden noted, gesturing at the lantana and bougainvillea.
“Me, too. It makes everything seem serene. Mix in the mature trees and the pretty sky, and it’s hard to beat.”
Holden nodded in silent agreement, and we continued walking, not ready for more words. In the quiet peacefulness of the setting, my tears began to fall again. Holden wrapped his arm around my shoulders, and I did what I could to sniffle quietly.
“God, I miss your Pops,” I finally said. The words, scraping a path out of my lungs and through my throat, nearly caught on my tongue. “And it’s just like Major said. As happy as I am now, I would trade it all to have your Pops back with us.”
“I know, Dad. Pops was always funny, acting like he was joking about needing to be remembered.”
I sniffed again. “The reality was, he was worried about being forgotten.”
“Is that because his parents didn’t approve of him?”
“They didn’t just not approve. They acted like he never existed. Did I tell you that, early in our relationship, we ran into them at the Walmart just north of San Antonio?”
“No. What happened?”
“Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It was as though they didn’t see him.”
Holden sucked in a breath, his free hand going to his chest.
“It’s hard to conceive of it, isn’t it? Now that you have Hikaru, you probably can’t even imagine it.”
He shook his head, tears spilling freely down his cheeks. “I think I’d rather be beaten than ignored. Though, having been beaten, I can’t recommend it.”
I chuckled. “You know, you have your Pops’s sense of humor.”
“He was so proud of that,” Holden said, tears giving way to a smile. “Remember that time I got in trouble with Mrs. Hardy?”
