“Really, Pops?” Holden muttered on more than one occasion.
“You know how he was, Son.”
“Yes. A menace to the end,” he said, smiling sadly. His eyes flicked to Major. “He should read it, too.”
Major recoiled. “I—it wasn’t meant for me. I don’t want to disrespect Robert’s wishes.”
Holden and I laughed.
“Something tells me that Pops would havelovedfor you to read it. He was a troublemaker that way,” Holden said, once again offering the letter to Major.
Major exchanged a glance with Beckett, whose smile was warm and a little mischievous. Taking the pages from Holden’s grasp, he sat back down next to me, and I laid my head on his shoulder, rereading the familiar words in Robert’s looping scrawl.
Sweet Cheeks,
If you’re reading this, may I say a final, “I told you so.”
Major stopped, shaking his head. “Dammit, Robert.”
I do wish I had been wrong about my health, but one thing I never truly told you about was how I could feel my heart failing. I spoke to the doctor about this and learned the issue: I needed a new valve, but I was too weak for the surgery. I guess this is how a life ends: you fight as hard as you can to live, but that’s no guarantee. And, darling, I fought like hell to stay with you.
Ren, I do wish I’d had more time with you, and not only because no one else could suck cock the way you do.
He paused again, this time squeezing his eyes shut, no doubt thoroughly embarrassed to be reading this in front of my son. I could hear Robert’s rumbly voice clearly in my head, and I bet Major could, too. Major darted a quick look at me. Tapping the last sentence, he gave me a grin and a subtle thumbs-up.
“Oh, God,” Holden said, shaking his head, likely guessing what part of the letter we’d gotten to.
“It seems that your father valued the truth,” Major joked.
It was a bold move, teasing Holden like that. Holden surprised us both with a laugh. “Ohno. There’s two of them.”
Major shook his head. “Your father influenced me greatly, but I can promise you he was one of a kind. And I am my own man.”
I grabbed his hand and kissed it. “True.”
We returned our focus to the letter.
That said, it would be rather selfish of me to insist that your mouth remain cock free for the rest of your life. It would be a shame to let such magnificence be mothballed for the sake of a dead man. So, love of my life, possessor of the tiniest ass known to man, if I must share you with someone after my passing, I have a few requests. Certainly you would honor the wishes of a dead man, right?
“Your Pops was a real nightmare,” Major muttered before sharing another boisterous laugh with Holden.
Ren Paige’s honey-do list:
—Hold my funeral in the old pizza shop. It’ll be ridiculous, but Beckett is the only man I’d want to memorialize my life.
—Read the letter addressed to the Lost Boys at the funeral. Don’t wait for the estate. Most of what I’m giving has no material value, save for the land. And I think my boys need to hear it.
—I wish to be cremated and placed in a moisture-proof urn that shall reside in our bathroom. Don’t make it weird—I just want to be a part of your day.
—You are allowed to grieve me intensely for six months and only six months. I mean it. I want snot tears, sad songs, rentgarments, missed days of work, sleepless nights, the works. Mourn me decadently, my love, because you’re gonna hate what comes next.
—After six months of intense grieving, I must insist that you button that shit up. I did talk to a grief counselor, who said that I couldn’t put a limit on your grief for me, which I decided was bullshit. Even if I cannot insist that you stop actively grieving for me, I can request that you don’t allow your grief to limit your life.
—I’ll apologize ahead of time for this one, but it must be done. Before the anniversary of my death, I need you to sleep with someone.
Now, before you dismiss me out of hand, hear me out.
He won’t compare to me, naturally, so you’re off the hook on that front. However, I want you to choose someone who will remind you that love is always there for you. That kindness remains in the world, and that losing your husband doesn’t end your life.
