“Why?”
“Before last night, I didn’t know how it felt to be with him,andI didn’t know how it felt to fuck a man raw. The combination is going to fucking destroy me.”
“What does he think about it?”
“When I left, he was already making plans for me to fuck him again tonight.”
“And are you gonna?”
“Of course I am,” I said, pulling at my hair. “The man has been driving me fucking insane for years, and now that I’ve had a taste of him…fucking hell.”
“Jesus, dude. I knew you were in love with him, but I didn’t realize you had it this bad.”
I scrunched my face, full of despair and desire. “Neither did I.”
“And now you’re really fucked.”
“Yes,” I sobbed, bemoaning my existence on this goddamned planet. “I can’t imagine fucking anyone else now. After this implodes—which it totally will—I’ll be doomed to wander the planet alone and unable to look at another man.”
“This is all very dramatic,” Major said, stroking his beard to hide his smile.
The motion caught my attention. “Hold up.” I drew back to get a better look at him. “Did you get your beard shaped?”
He lifted a shoulder. “I’d let it get overgrown. Thought a trip to the barbershop was in order.”
“And wait, is that a new hairstyle?” I asked, belatedly noting the fresh fade.
“Maybe.”
“I don’t recognize that aftershave, either.”
“What is this, an inquisition?” he asked, his cheeks coloring.
“Yes.”
“Whatever. I got a haircut.Youwent and fucked your tragic high school crush,” he fired back.
“You know it goes way beyond that.” I let out a sigh. “And you’re right. This was such a mistake, and I cannot wait to make it again.”
“What can I do to help?” he asked, worry marking his handsome features. “Do you want me to talk you out of it?”
I waved him off. “You could try, but I wouldn’t listen.”
He chuckled, not unkindly. “So this is simply a warning of impending tragedy.”
“Probably.” God, I felt so guilty for putting all of my bullshit on him.
He opened his mouth to say something, then shut it.
“Go ahead. Tell me how asinine I’m being right now.”
“You do know that he’ll break your heart, right?” Major took my hands in his. “He’s said over and over that he’ll never have a long-term relationship.”
“I know.”
“Did you believe him?”
I whimpered, pulling my hands from his to cover my face. “Yes. Of course.”
