It occurred to me that, if Mr. Paige could stay involved in his students’ lives long after they graduated, I sure as hell could make sure Leo had the support he needed after he left this place. The idea that I could pay it forward made everything seem a little brighter.
Once we’d finished eating and cleaning our dishes, Beckett gave me a tour of the bunkhouses. I immediately agreed with Leo’s dim opinion of the current setup. “These things make IKEA bunk beds look sturdy.”
Beckett laughed. “Exactly.”
“Leo,” I said, “you mind lying down for a minute so I can see what we’re dealing with?”
He dropped into the bottom bed, shaking the entire bunk as he curled onto his side to fit in the comparatively tiny space. Thoughfitwas an inaccurate description.
“I’m surprised one of these hasn’t collapsed altogether.”
“The big guys take the bottom bunks and smaller guys take the top,” Beckett explained. He shook his head, guilt filling his eyes. “Though… I didn’t realize it was this bad.”
“Lots of moving parts in a place like this,” I said. “Easy for details to get overlooked. Even with these beds, it still looks like somewhere the kids want to be.”
Leo nodded as he unwound himself from the bottom bunk. “It’s the best place I’ve ever lived.”
He stood next to me, and I leaned against him for a moment. “I’m glad you found your way here.”
He dipped his head, uncharacteristically quiet.
Hell, if Dr. Gardner hadn’t approved the project, I’d have figured out how to do it on my own time. No way were these kids going to be in substandard beds on my watch.
Even if I still didn’t totally know what I was doing.
I spent the rest of the morning verifying measurements and taking a look at the kids’ storage options, thinking forward to the spring semester. Beckett invited me to stay for lunch, but I was anxious to get back to my laptop and work up the logistics for my new curriculum. I couldn’t wait to show Dr. Gardner.
Beckett stopped me on my way out. “Hey, just wanted to check in with you. I know you said you were fine, but it sounded like your dad was being harsh.”
“That is his default state,” I answered, my shoulders tensing up all over again.
“I bet your parents were strict. Had a lot to say about what was proper and what wasn’t,” he guessed, grinning as he gestured to his priestly collar and tattoos.
“Yep.” I clucked, shaking my head. “Youdefinitelywould be considered a bad influence.”
“What do you think would shock them more? The fact that I question the existence of God or that I’m gay?”
I let out a long whistle. “Brother, I don’t know. Both are pretty damn bad.”
He rubbed his hands together, his mouth a firm line. “That must have been hard to grow up with.”
“It was all I knew.” I shoved my hands into my pockets. “They loved me and provided for me. They made sure I had all of my needs met, so I can’t complain.”
Beckett bobbed his head, listening intently. “You do know acceptance is a need as well, right?”
His words were kind, and his meaning was crystal clear. I didn’t know how to respond. Fear of the truth seized my chest, and I went quiet.
He patted my shoulder. “I’m not assuming anything. I’m just saying that, while I’m glad you were fed and clothed and housed, it’s okay to acknowledge the ways in which your parents could have, and should have, done better. You deserved that, too.”
“Thanks, Beckett,” I choked out, the only thing I could think to say.
“Anytime. Just so you know, even though I don’t walk around with a confessional, anything you say to me would be kept in confidence.”
Tears once again pricked the backs of my eyeballs, and I cleared my throat, stubbing my toe in the dirt. “That’s, uh… good to know. Appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome,” he said, bringing me in for a brief hug before releasing me to the world.
Emotions swirled as I climbed back into my truck. By the time I turned onto the two-lane heading back home, tears started to fall.
