“Junior! Thank God. I’ve been trying to get ahold of you all morning.”
“Sorry, Dad. I put it on the schedule—I’m not available today.”
“How are you not available? Family is always available.”
I sighed, ignoring Beckett’s concerned look. “I’m sorry, Dad. I don’t have time to go to New Braunfels today.”
I could cancel my plans for tonight and take on an afternoon shift, but something inside me wouldn’t let me do it.
“I don’t know what you’re playing at, son. You know your family responsibilities come first.”
“Dad, do you even know where I’m at?”
“I don’t know, somewhere volunteering with thosefriendsof yours?”
“I’m at Lupe. Since I’ve taken over the shop class, we’ll be working with them to make sure the kids here have beds and whatever else they need.”
“You can go over there any time. We need you here and now.”
“I’m sorry, Dad,” I said, wondering if I’d ever had a conversation with him in which I did not feel the need to apologize for myself. “I gave my word.”
That last part finally stopped him. All my life, he’d drilled into me the importance of doing my duty and keeping my word. He couldn’t exactly go back on his own counsel.
“Fine, but we’re going to discuss your schedule going forward.”
It was at the tip of my tongue to tell him to take me off the schedule entirely, but I loved my family, and I wanted their business to succeed. I just didn’t want to be a part of it anymore. It twisted me up inside to admit I wanted something so completely different from the life they’d envisioned for me.
Once again, I was reminded of Mr. Paige’s sage advice. When I was having a hard time juggling coursework and my schedule at the shop, he’d reminded me that being true to myself was not selfish. Whether he’d suspected something maybe not straight about me at the time, I didn’t know, but he’d probably meant it in an all-encompassing way.
It wasn’t selfish to want to be a teacher or to want a life outside the tire shop. It certainly wasn’t selfish to want friends who saw me and accepted—celebrated—me. I had every right to explore a part of me I’d shoved down and ignored for who knew how long.
And if those things weren’t selfish, then it made no sense to continue to sacrifice myself for people who would abandon me the moment they found out who I was. The sad fact was, my family didn’t give a damn about the real me, not if it didn’t match up with their expectations.
I’d been putting off that painful truth for a long time, and this week I’d finally accepted a reckoning was imminent. What I planned to explore tonight was going to change things, I was sure.
I couldn’t shake the sense that, even if I found out I was straight as an arrow, I was still gonna lose my family.
Tucking away my phone, I bounded up the steps to Lupe’s main building. Despite my reluctance to hear any of Leo’s yap today, I was grateful for the hugs he and Beckett welcomed me with.
Beckett’s shrewd eyes locked in on me. “I overheard some of that. Are you okay?” he asked quietly. Even Leo was tilting his head, his mouth turned downward.
“I’d be better if my family…” I held my hands up, not wanting to talk about it. “Never mind. I’m fine. I just need to set some better boundaries with their demands on my time.”
Beckett grimaced. “It took a while for my dad to get why I couldn’t take the path he’d laid out for me. Hopefully they’ll come around like he has.”
I bit my upper lip, unprepared for the way his words cut right to the heart of things. “Not likely, but thank you for the sentiment,” I replied, hoping he didn’t notice the wobble in my voice.
“At least you’ve got us,” Leo said, pounding my back.
I winced as his massive palm glanced off my aching shoulders, a reminder of the number of hours I’d already put in at the shop this week. “Hey, now. I’m strong as all get-out, but try not to misalign my spine before I’ve even started.”
Laughing, he pulled me into another hug, this one gentler. My eyes prickled at the way he seemed to understand and adjust. God, he pissed me off sometimes, but he was growing and learning.
Blinking rapidly, I patted his arm. “All right, then. Let’s get breakfast over with so I can see what can be done this semester.”
He laughed, and we joined the kids in their homey dining hall. The cooks had Saturdays off, so the kids and weekend staff worked together to make breakfast. The offering today was a build-your-own-oatmeal bar with a bunch of sweet and savory options. I went with the traditional cream, butter, and brown sugar, then layered crispy bacon and a fried egg on top for good measure.
Not only was it delicious, but I enjoyed getting to know the other kids better. They looked up to Leo, and he seemed aware—and proud—of that fact. He’d mentioned being worried about trying to make it on his own, but I could envision him doing anything he wanted as long as he continued to mature.
