“He’d transferred in from another team, and I remember the exact moment he walked into our command tent. He was backlit by the sun, so I didn’t even get a good look at his face. His presence, though—undeniable.” Everett pauses, another smile playing on his lips before he continues. “Then he closes the tent flap, and he’s this hot little blond spark plug, and I nearly fell to my knees.”
I hold up my hands, aiming for playful. “Okay, okay. I don’t know if I need all the gory details.”
He gives me a sorry-not-sorry grimace. “But the thing that made it magic was that he felt it, too. We locked eyes across the room, and it was all over but the cryin’.”
“Oh, great. I’m so glad I asked.”
Everett’s eyes soften. “Good. Now you know how it feels to be jealous of a dead man.”
A little grunt-likeughstumbles from the back of my throat. “Fine. So, who made the first move?”
The pain behind his eyes leaves, and his smile is devastatingly beautiful. “We used to argue about that. Those bases don’t have a whole lot of privacy, and when he left the command tent and went to the bunk to put away his things, I knew everyone else was doing PT. I also knew that he wanted me to follow him.”
“Wait, he wasn’t even unpacked when y’all went after it?”
“Oh no—he unpacked first, and I’m giving him the fuck-me eyes while he’s taking his sweet time, refolding every damn thing.”
I have to smile—that was a good move. “And then what?”
“He puts away his last pair of underwear and gets this real coy look. Then he tosses a condom on my bunk.”
“Oh my god.I should be jealous, but that’s kinda hot.”
“Yeah, well…I said screw that and fucked him up against the wall.”
I fan myself, making him grin. After thinking it over a minute, I hold up my finger. “Okay, but he tossed the condom on the bed—that sounds like the first move.”
“Baby, look at my face.”
I comply andoh, okay. He’s turned his fuck-me eyes on me, and I recognize that look from the tattoo shop. I’m practically a puddle. “Nope, got it. The fuck-me eyes win. The fuck-me eyeswin.”
“Thank you,” he says with a wolflike grin. “We made a game of it—finding places and times to fuck. We thought fucking everywhere but a bed meant we were casual.Oops.”
After a moment his eyes go sad and his smile slides off his face. I sneak my arm around him, squeezing tight. He reciprocates.
“Can you tell me what happened to him? You don’t have to.”
“It was a little over a year later and we were on a two-man mission, one of dozens he and I had been on together, and I got into it with a huge guy who was doing his darndest to beat me to death. Daniels didn’t have a clean shot where he was located. So, he moved to a more exposed area, got the shot, saved my life, and paid for it with his own.”
He says the details quickly, like maybe speed will make it hurt less. I’m familiar with the technique. It doesn’t work.
“That must’ve been awful. I’m so, so sorry.”
Everett’s smile is grim. “I eventually got the bastard who did it…and I didn’t use a gun. And for a long, long time I was just going to be this lone gunman who didn’t need anybody.”
“I feel like I’ve seen Antonio Banderas in this movie,” I say, taking my chances with the teasing.
He hips me, hard, and laughs, a sound I didn’t realize I needed in my life until just then. “Hey now, I’m feeling emotional and dramatic; you should be nicer to me.”
I giggle and snuggle in against him, a feeling as familiar as anything. “So, you’re telling me that we’re both lonely widowersandthat Roly Martinez is responsible, sorta, for Asadiandyou?Fuckme. I need to buy the guy another beer.”
“Sorry, doll.”
I hug him tight, and he hugs me back.
Maybe I haven’t fucked up everything.
28
