Hunter’s heart leapt, but then he reminded himself that Payne was a caretaker. Obviously Payne meant he loved Hunter as a friend, the same way Jen did. Which was still more than Hunter felt he deserved.
But it helped to know Payne cared about him. Payne had seen the worst of him, and if Payne still could regard Hunter with any kind of affection, it was a miracle.
He looked into Payne’s beautiful blue eyes, eyes which had never regarded Hunter with contempt or loathing. Payne’s acceptance had been unquestioning, and as awful as Hunter felt at the moment — and he felt like total shit— for the first time Hunter thought that maybe, just maybe, there was a way through his torment.
Since he knew Payne meant the words in friendship and acceptance, Hunter thought he could take a risk he wouldn’t normally even consider. Emotional vulnerability had never appealed to Hunter, but in this one moment, he was safe — and Payne never had to know Hunter meant the words with all his heart.
“I love you, too. Sir.”
A soft sound, half-moan and half-sob, escaped Payne’s throat as he captured Hunter’s lips in a deep, demanding kiss. Hunter was surprised by the kiss, but he closed his eyes, shutting out everything, ignoring the pain of the welts and the pain in his heart, kissing Payne back, parting his lips in silent invitation. It was a connection he needed, a reason to keep going, and Payne offered it as unstintingly as he’d always offered Hunter everything. Payne buried his fingers in Hunter’s hair while he lingered over the kiss, and when he drew back at last, his eyes glowed with affection.
“Let’s get you down,” he said as he unfastened the wrist cuffs.
Hunter waited while Payne released the restraints. When he stepped down from the cross, he stumbled and nearly fell, and he grabbed for Payne. “Feel a little weak,” he admitted. In fact, his head was swimming, and he wanted to lie down right there on the floor and curl into a ball.
“That’s understandable.” Payne held him securely around the waist and helped him remain upright. “All you have to do is make it as far as our bedroom. I’ve got some water and Gatorade and the salve waiting for you.”
“Yes, sir,” Hunter murmured. Somehow Payne got him to the bedroom, and Hunter stumbled to the bed, falling down face first on the mattress. It was soft and warm and smelled of Payne, and Hunter closed his eyes, breathing in deeply. Payne helped him get stretched out more comfortably with a pillow under his head.
“Do you want something to drink?” Payne sat down on the edge of the bed and stroked Hunter’s hair tenderly.
“No.” Hunter fumbled for Payne’s free hand and grabbed it. “Don’t leave me.”
Payne brought Hunter’s hand to his lips. “I’m not going anywhere,” he said. “Let me take care of these welts, and then I’ll get in bed with you, and we’ll stay here for as long as you want.”
“Okay.” Hunter felt like he was drifting, but he didn’t mind. It was getting harder to think, but Payne was here. Payne would take care of him. He was vaguely aware of Payne’s hands on his ass, of the relief of the cool salve on the welts. Then Payne was lying next to him, warm and solid, and Hunter reached out, pulling Payne closer, curling around him, before he slipped away into an exhausted slumber.
