Payne grinned, pleased that Hunter had relaxed enough to make a little joke. “Well, you’re going to have bruises and possibly welts, especially if we use the canes,” he said, gesturing to his collection, which contained several canes of varying lengths made from different materials from acrylic to rattan. “Those will leave a mark, and you won’t sit comfortably for a few days. But I don’t get off on causing damage more serious than that, so it shouldn’t be a problem.”
“Then I guess that’s it.” Hunter shrugged slightly. “Anything else will get sorted out during the process, right? And if it doesn’t work for me, no hard feelings.”
“Actually, there are a couple of other things I want to mention,” Payne said, sitting back in his seat again. “First, I want you to have a true understanding of the dynamic that’s going to be at work here. I’m going to be in control, yes, but you’ve got the power. We start, slow down, or even stop at your say-so. Everything I do will be your choice for your benefit. So if you don’t like being caned? We won’t do that. I’m not going to force anything on you that you don’t want – including myself.”
Hunter frowned, obviously not understanding. “Yourself? What do you mean?”
Payne felt his face growing hot, but he forged ahead. “I mean BDSM is a pretty big part of my sexy fun times, so you shouldn’t be surprised if I get turned on. You shouldn’t be surprised or embarrassed if you do either, for that matter. But just because I get turned on doesn’t mean I’ll do anything about it. This is about healing, not sex, and I don’t want you to worry I’ll conflate the two.”
“Yes, you already made that clear,” Hunter said, his tone a trifle impatient. “I get it, okay? You aren’t attracted to me, this isn’t about sex, it’s about healing. If you get turned on, I won’t take it personally, since it’s not about me.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Payne held up both hands, startled by Hunter’s response. “You’re making a lot of assumptions, big guy. I believe we established earlier I never said I’m not interested in having sex with you. But if I need to spell it out, badass hunks with broad shoulders and biceps bigger than my head are my type, okay? And God help me, you’re stomping all over my white knight hot buttons too. So let’s dispel the notion that I’m not interested, because believe me, when you’re naked and tied up right in front of me, and your ass is turning red as Santa’s suit with every whack of my paddle, I’m going to be very fucking interested.”
Hunter went still, eyes wide, as he stared at Payne in complete disbelief.
“Oh.”
Payne blinked his big blue eyes at Hunter and smiled. “Are we clear?”
Hunter seemed to gather his scattered wits, and a flush crawled up his neck and into his cheeks. “Yeah. We’re clear,” he said, his tone more than a little hoarse, and the heat in his gaze as he looked at Payne was a clear indication he wasn’t at all immune to Payne’s words.
The look gave Payne a little hope that perhaps Hunter would respond better to the BDSM therapy than he thought. His biggest concern was that the whole thing would leave Hunter cold, but perhaps not.
“Good, so we can move on to safe words,” Payne said. “I’d like to suggest using a different system, one that will give you more agency. It’s a color system — green, yellow, red. Green means you’re fine, and red means everything needs to stop immediately. Yellow is like an early warning, and we can figure out what it means for you personally.”
Hunter drew in a deep breath, seeming to pull himself back into focus. “All right. I assume getting angry or emotional isn’t necessarily a reason to stop, nor is when something hurts. I suppose it’s if I think it’s getting to be too much?”
“I’ll check in by asking what your color is,” Payne said. “But you can be proactive and warn me if you feel like you’re getting close to the edge, whether it’s an emotional threshold or a pain threshold. It’s to let me know we’re heading into potentially difficult territory. We can pause and assess the situation. You can decide if you’re good to keep going or if you want to call it red.” He gave Hunter a stern look. “But ditch the ‘suck it up, buttercup’ mentality at the door. This isn’t boot camp, and you aren’t supposed to keep pushing through if it gets to be too much, whether it’s physically, mentally, or emotionally. Continuing past your limits can do more harm than good, soI’mtrustingyouto be honest and not get mired in macho bullshit.”
“I can understand that,” Hunter said. “I work with explosives, remember? I know exactly what happens if you go too far too fast and make a mistake. I promise I’ll stop, or at least pause and ask, all right?”
“That works,” Payne said, satisfied with Hunter’s response. “My style as a Dom is to work communication into the scene so I know what’s going on with my sub. With you, communication is going to be vital, so I’ll probably blindfold you, but I won’t gag you.”
Hunter tilted his head to one side. “Not that I’m averse, but out of curiosity… why blindfolded?”
“Less visual input means you’ll feel everything more intensely, internally and externally,” Payne said, then grinned mischievously. “Plus I like when my subs don’t know what’s coming. It lets me set the pace, and I enjoy making them get worked up with anticipation sometimes.”
“Oh. All right.” Hunter seemed to accept the answer without hesitation. “So… what’s next?”
“Well, now I think we should test run some toys.” Payne stood up and beckoned Hunter to follow him over to the paddle shelf. “We can also discuss ideas for the actual scene once we’ve figured out what you like and don’t like.”
Hunter followed along, hovering behind Payne as he looked over the paddles. “To be honest, I don’t see what the difference is. Pain is pain, right? Does it matter if you’re hitting me with a paddle or a switch or a flogger if it’s all going to hurt?”
“Sure, it’s going to hurt, but each type of toy provides a different kind of pain. A punch in the face doesn’t hurt the same as a bullet,” Payne explained. He picked up his favorite paddle, which was lined with leather on one side and fur on the other. “I think showing you will be more effective than trying to tell you, so why don’t you go ahead and strip and get on the bench.” He pointed to the spanking bench. “I won’t restrain you or blindfold you this time, and I’ll go easy so you don’t have to wait to heal up before we schedule the real deal.”
Hunter walked toward the bench. He sat down to remove his combat boots and socks, then stood and stripped his t-shirt over his head, revealing his broad shoulders and lightly furred chest, as well as tribal-style tattoos on each upper bicep. After stripping off his jeans and boxer-briefs with an apparent lack of self-consciousness, he folded his clothes and place them neatly to one side.
He didn’t look at Payne before kneeling on the lower part of the bench, then draping his torso across the upper part. In that position, it was easy to see the intricate tattoo taking up almost the entirety of his back, from broad shoulders down to his tapered waist. In black ink, a stylized Meso-American sun spread jagged rays over Hunter’s tanned skin. In the center was a face like a stone carving, wearing a fierce expression, teeth bared as if in defiance. Around the circle of the face were words in stark capital letters, spelling out a line from Nietzsche.
And if you look deep into the Abyss, the Abyss looks deep into you.
Payne twirled the paddle in one hand as he allowed himself a moment to admire the view. He’d had big, burly men in his playroom before, but the pleasure of seeing such badasses draped over his bench or tied to his cross never palled. He wanted to run his hands along Hunter’s broad shoulders and explore those tattoos — preferably with his tongue — but he reminded himself that sex was off the table for more reasons than one.
“Paddles can either thud or sting, depending on the size of the paddle,” Payne said as he went to stand beside the bench. “This one is going to be more thuddy. Normally, I’d warm you up a bit, but this is a quick demo, so we’ll do that next time. Ready?”
Hunter raised his head to look at Payne. “Sure.”
“I’m going to tell myself your lack of enthusiasm stems from not knowing how awesome this is,” Payne said dryly — and then he landed a solid blow on Hunter’s ass, one intended to provide a deep thudding pain.
