I walked into the kitchen with him trailing me. "It went okay."
Kofi backed me against the counter, imprisoning me with both hands. "Is that all?"
"No, of course not. Can I get some water and then I can tell you?"
He nodded and stepped away from me as if he understood that I needed space. My comment a while ago had been flippant, but Kofi's response rattled my brain. Although we were together each day and made love frequently, I was still afraid of naming what we had, perhaps fearing that I'd jinx everything.
I took my time getting the water and drinking it. As I offered Kofi what was left in the glass and he drank it, I was satisfied that we were on the same page. I didn't see myself getting tired of him any time soon and I hoped he felt the same way about me.
He put the glass in the sink and reeled me in by the hand. For a few beats of time, he hugged me then walked me to the living room. When we were seated, he gave me space by putting a few inches between us.
"What happened at your parents' house today?"
"I did exactly what you suggested. Of course, I couldn't tell Daddy, but I had a private conversation with Mom."
"How did she take it?"
"Hard to say really. She was shocked, but for the first time in a while, when I left her I didn't feel as if I'd been through a wringer."
Kofi nodded, but didn't speak.
I reached for his hand, lacing my fingers through his. "You were right. I think I left a hundred-pound burden over there."
He nodded and pressed his lips to my fingers. "That's what I wanted for you. It doesn't bring closure but you will have some peace since you blame her, in part, for what that guy did to you."
Facing me, he squeezed my fingers to get me to look at him. "The next step is for you to forgive him."
I opened my mouth to protest, but he put slight pressure on my hand to stop me from speaking. "I'm not saying you are to find him and share that with him. It happened a long time ago. You've been carrying it for too long. It's time to release it and even if you never see him again in life, you need to free yourself from this horrible thing he did that has chained you to him for these many years."
My eyes smarted and I stared at the blank television screen. I hadn't given what Kofi was asking much thought, but it made sense. Turning my face toward him, I whispered, "I'll try."
He came closer and put his arm around me.
I closed my eyes, savoring his smell, his strength, his grip on me. Kofi made being in a relationship look easy. As hard as it was to admit to myself, I wanted this man for all time.
***
KOFI SUCKED THE SKINat the base of my neck while I squirmed madly against him. My cries reeked of desperation as he rocked his hips against me in short, sharp thrusts. I squeezed my eyes shut, grabbing the pillows as my core spasmed and twitched in reaction to his flesh sliding against mine.
The screech that came from my throat did not sound human, but I was beyond caring. The sweetness of him filling and satisfying me was my only reality. As my cries went on, Kofi thrust harder against me, groaning and gasping as he came. Droplets of sweat fell on my skin and his heart thundered against my back as he rested above me.
My muscles squeezed him involuntarily and he jerked in reaction, warming my ear and stirring my hair with his breath.
I could have stayed like this with him forever, smiling because he made me feel whole.
He kissed my cheek. "What are you grinning about?"
"Get it right, Kofi, I'm not grinning. That was an expression of my satisfaction."
"Whatever that means," he said, rolling to the side of the bed and getting to his feet.
By the time he returned from the bathroom, I was drowsy and drifting toward sleep. Kofi pulled me into his arms and I squirmed next to him, ready to bed down for the night. He kissed my forehead, then my lips. "You are okay?"
I nodded. "Never better."
"That is good to know, especially since you wouldn't let me watch that play in peace."
Giggling, I said, "It's your fault for being all that and then some more."
