“Holy crap.” He presses his hand to his chest as I swing the door open the rest of the way. “You scared the hell out of me.”
“You scared the hell out of me,” I reply while catching my breath.
He has on a pair of running shorts, a T-shirt, and sneakers. His hair is pulled back, and he’s holding a brown paper bag. He smells sweaty, making me question … “Did you run already?” I aim for a neutral tone, but hurt seeps through.
I’m unsure why I’m even hurt, other than I have this inkling perhaps he went running to avoid spending time with me after what happened last night.
“I couldn’t sleep, so I went for a jog, but we’re still working out.” He pauses. “You still want to, right?”
“Yeah …” I’m so perplexed. He’s acting so offish. “You don’t have to train me if you don’t want to. I get it if last night made things too weird between us.”
Loose locks of his hair fall into his eyes as he shakes his head. “No, not all.” He rubs the back of his hand across his forehead. “I’m sorry I’m acting weird. I’m just … There’s something I need to talk to you about. It’s important but might make things awkward between us … I don’t know.”
Tired of this discomfort between us, I step back and motion for him to come inside. “How about we talk, and then try to get rid of the awkwardness?”
He enters, nodding, but doubt weighs in his expression. “You might want to sit down. It’s a lot.”
I take a seat on the bed, tucking a leg under my butt. He hesitantly sits down beside me, leaving space between us.
He sets the bag he’s holding down then stares at his hands for a maddening amount of time. “Finn and I came up with an idea on how to keep the society from targeting you,” he starts, his gaze finding mine. Worry is stirring in his features. “I’m not sure how you’re going to react to it, though.”
“Well, there’s only one way to find out.” I gesture at him to spit it out.
His cheeks puff as he exhales then rests his hand on the bed, close to my hip but not quite touching. “There’s a rule within the society that if you’re dating a member, they’re protected from getting targeted.”
“Wait …” I slant back in surprise. “You want me to date Finn?”
He slowly shakes his head, and his worry is replaced by nervousness. “No, I want you to date me.”
“But you’re not part of the society,” I say then pause. “Unless you’ve been lying to me.”
“I haven’t,” he assures me while scooting closer. “I’m going to join. Finn actually told Eli this morning that I was going to, and initiation happens tonight.”
A slow blink from me. “Why would you do that? You said you hated the society.”
“I do.” The truth scorches through his voice. “But I don’t want them to touch you, and this is the best way to make it happen.”
“I could just date Finn.” Although I don’t want to.
Sure, he’s hot, but the idea of dating him, especially after I messed around with River, seems like it would be a disaster.
“Oh.” He leans away from me. “You want to date him?”
“What? No. I mean, I like him as a friend, but I don’t want to date him. But I don’t want you to have to join the society simply to protect me. I …” I stare at him in astonishment. “Why would you even consider doing that?”
His response doesn’t come immediately, but when it does, it knocks the air out of me.
“I think it’s pretty clear that I like you,” he says quietly while fiddling with his watch band. “I’m not sure how you feel about me—maybe you just want to be friends. I’d understand, considering my situation …” He trails off, closing his eyes. “I wish my future weren’t what it is, but it is. And I get if you don’twant to get mixed up in that, especially since you told me you don’t date.” He opens his pretty eyes. “We can pretend, if you want—if that makes it easier.”
“Pretend to date?” I repeat in an even tone that is falsely misleading.
The harsh truth is that, inside, I’m a wreck of skipping heartbeats, and my lungs feel tight as I struggle to breathe evenly. I’ve had guys tell me that they like me, but typically, my reaction is indifferent, minus a few times. But never have I felt this way about someone. And that is more terrifying than walking through northside at midnight on a Saturday night alone.
He brushes wisps of his hair out of his eyes. “If that’s what you want.”
I’m conflicted. Deep inside, a need is whispering, one tempting me to actually date him. But then what? We date until the society moves on from me, and then we break up? I can visualize myself actually falling for River, with his sweet smiles and beautiful eyes. Not to mention he treats me so sweetly that I sometimes don’t even know how to deal with it.
“Yeah, I think fake dating is the better idea.” As soon as I say it, I sigh. “Are you sure you want to do this? I can handle it on my own.”I think.
