Sex that meant nothing except it created a beautiful baby girl who has now become the center of my world.
“Cliff doesn’t tell me what to say or think. He understands and respects that I’ve got a mind of my own.”
“I never told you want to do, and I was always respectful.”
“Dak, I could see you looking at other women when we were together. No, let me rephrase that, you were practically undressing them with your eyes. You were drooling.”
“I don’t drool over any woman.”
“Yeah, maybe that’s your problem.”
“The only problem I’ve got is that you keep looking for excuses for me not to spend time with my daughter.”
“I can tell by the tone of your voice that you’re not yourself, so forgive me if I don’t want any of whatever you’re going through right now affecting our daughter.”
“Well, it has been a shitty week, Jana.”
“I know,” she says in a patronizing, calm voice, which irritates me even more. That’s the tone she uses with her first graders at the elementary school she teaches at. “And I’m sorry that you’re going through all of that, which is why I’m giving you a chance to bow out. I can send Bella to Long Island and you can see her another time. It’s no problem.”
“You mean send her to Long Island to stay with Cliff’s family?”
“Well, you know all my kin are in Kansas City and his family has been a great support system. They love Bella.”
“Have you sent my daughter to stay with them before?” I say, growing angrier by the minute. “You never asked me my permission, Jana. I don’t know those goddamn people!”
“Calm down. You’re spinning out of control.”
“Stop telling me to calm down.”
“I’m just saying that there’s no need for you to get upset. Cliff’s parents are a lovely gray-haired couple who spend their days playing board games or volunteering at the local library.”
“My daughter will stay with me,” I declare firmly, finally sitting up on the edge of the bed. I plant my feet on the floor. “I will take care of her. Not strangers. Not ever.”
“Fine,” she leans into a heavy sigh. “I’ll bring her after work on Friday. All you’ll have to do is feed her dinner, get her in the bath, and–”
“I know what to do, Jana. Don’t talk to me like I’m the babysitter. Whether you like it or not, I’m her father.”
I can hear Cliff muttering something in the background like,“Don’t engage him any further. Just tell him okay.”
He’s obviously been listening to our entire conversation. The insecure fire fucker is always eavesdropping.
“I’ll bring her around five o’clock, Dak.”
There’s that condescending tone again.
“Fine.”
“Oh, and did you wire me this month’s money?” she asks casually as if that wasn’t what she wanted to ask five minutes ago.
“It’s coming.”
“You’re a day late.”
“I can’t wire you shit over the weekend, Jana. It’s coming.”
I can feel myself still on edge from my conversation with Jana, wanting to rip something to shreds when Cap calls. He’s been checking on me all week and I’ve given him short responses, rushing him off the phone, but he’s not going to let me get away with it much longer and neither will the Nighthawk front office. Just because we have a bye week doesn’t mean we don’t have to work. It just means we have an extra week of practice before our next game.
“Hello?”
