Me: Uh-uh
Lev: Cool, I’ll check in with you next month.
Me: K
But we haven’t had that text exchange in two months. Every time I text him and ask if he’s okay, I get no response. If he had sent me that same text this month, I think I would have told him that things were not okay, and that I did need something, especially a safe place, to land.
Our relationship may not seem normal to most people, but Lev is the only person I’ve got in the world, and I know in my heart that something is very wrong. I just don’t know what to do about it.
“Ooh, I’ve got it. Why don’t you file for unemployment? I heard the benefits are pretty good these days and it should last you a few months.”
“We work as independent contractors, not paid employees. I’m not even sure if I’d qualify for unemployment, and even if I did, that takes time to process. Where would I live in the meantime? This is Ray’s apartment.”
“Hmm, my wife handles the money and our taxes for us. I didn’t realize about the whole independent contractor thing.” Ruby snaps her fingers in epiphany. “Oh, wait, I know. How about you stay with us for a few days?”
“That’s nice of you to offer, but I wasn’t looking for an invitation.”
“I know you weren’t, but the offer still stands.”
“And how would Kim feel about that?”
“She’d have to deal with it.”
“I don’t think surprising Kim with a house guest is the way to get back into your wife’s good graces.”
“Did I mention that she was pissed with me?”
“Yes, repeatedly.”
“I guess I did,” Ruby chuckles. “That woman’s evil ass drives me crazy. If she keeps it up, I’m going down to the Painted Eagle and find me a new woman.”
I laugh to myself as I consider the ridiculousness of that statement because while Ruby loves women with wide hips and lots of attitude; I know for a fact that she hates bars, especially lesbian bars. She’s mentioned that more than once, too.
“No, you won’t.” I shake with laughter as the frozen peas vibrate against my bruised eye. “Ouch.”
“Seriously, you can stay with us,” she says sincerely.
“Um–”
“I promise it will be fine. We’ll put a time limit on it. Maybe a week? Kim will be fine with a week, and by then you and me will have come up with a better plan. I’m thinking we’ll find your brother by then.”
I know Ruby means well, but the truth of what binds me to Ray hangs between us like a rotten corpse–my fear. He’s not just going to let me go. He only left the house last night because by the time he was finished throwing furniture around, he knew I’d be too afraid to leave. He knows I’ll be right here when he gets back because… that’s what I do.
I stay.
Unless I try doing something different this time. Maybe, just maybe, I could leave and be brave enough to stay gone this time.
“It would just be for a few days, right?” I ask.
“Yes.” Ruby grins with satisfaction. “Now go pack a bag and come home with me. Oh, I forgot to tell you, the whole point of me dropping by here was to tell you that we’ve got an assignment at eleven today. It’s a bank foreclosure clean out and they’re paying us time and a half.”
“I hate throwing away other people’s possessions like that.”
“Trust me on this. It takes forever for a bank to foreclose on a house in this state. I should know, because I’m in the middle of one. Whoever lived in the house that we’re cleaning had plenty of time to get their things out of there. They just didn’t do it.”
“Or couldn’t afford to do it.”
“Tomato, tamato.”
