“I didn’t care.”
“Oh, is that fucking so! You didn’t care at all if the world knew that you were with the formidable Miranda Green.”
“Because she had nothing to lose, Mia. Her cousin is the general manager. She’ll never get fired. Not unless he gets fired first.”
Oops, I didn’t know that.
“My silence about our every evolving relationship has always been for your protection. When I was ready to shout the shit from the mountaintops, you told me you weren’t ready, so I chilled. Now that I’ve respected your request, it’s being held against me?”
“Imagine how I felt when I walked into Miranda’s office today and saw a bouquet to match the color of her fucking hair? That’s really some thoughtful, deep, gift giving. And you must have picked them out yourself because you certainly didn’t have your house manager do it.”
“You’re unbelievable.”
“Why did you buy her those flowers?” I ask again, demanding a better response than the non-answer I’ve been given.
He slams his hand on the table, and the dishes vibrate.
“To apologize for the shit I said about her in the hallway. My mother raised me better than that. Plus, I didn’t want any animosity she may have been feeling towards me to blowback on you.”
“How could that happen? I’ve already been hired.”
“I don’t know. I just wanted to to be sure. Like I said, she has family in high places.”
“Have you told her about us?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“For the same reasons I have told no one else about us, to respect your wishes. You think that day in the vestibule felt good for me? We’d just made love the night before. We were holding hands because I was helping you inside the building, and the minute Miranda saw us you dropped my hand like I was on fire. I have fucking feelings too, Mia. This is not all about you. Your job, your bills, your knee, your fucking self esteem.”
My eyes water. His words and the venom with which he’s saying them are cutting me deep. When he realizes I’m on the verge of crying he panics and tries to backpedal.
“I’m sorry. Shit, I didn’t mean that.”
“You resent me. You resent everything about me.”
“Not true.”
“You just said it. I weigh you down like an anchor with all my shit.”
“That’s not what I meant at all, Mia. I’m just frustrated. I’ve done everything to take it slow with you, to not frighten you, but you’re still running away from me and I don’t want you to leave me.”
I stand from the table.
“I think you and I both knew that this was a long shot.”
“Don’t you fucking bail on me, Mia.”
“I’m just saying what we both knew was inevitable. We are better as friends, at least we were.”
His eyes are wild with emotion.
“Sit down.”
He walks toward me and slides his hand into my loose waves.
“You’re talking reckless, Mia. We’re better together.”
