“Dang, you’re the most broke doctor I’ve ever met,” she snorts.
“I should have been a plastic surgeon, but alas, I love the children.”
Dena giggles. “For you, bestie, I have arranged for the match to be free. The only catch is that you’re going to have to go on three dates. You can’t bail after just one.”
“You mean I can’t quit after seeing what a complete waste of time this will be?”
“Caroline has studied statistics on arranged relationships and they have a better chance of working given adequate time to become invested in the other person. It’s just that the first date is always the hardest, because people often make assumptions and judgments based on a brief first impression. Give the process time.”
“I can’t commit to three dates. I’ve got work and my boards coming up.”
“I need you to trust the process.”
“Dammit,” I hear my cell phone vibrating on the counter. “Cecily is calling me.”
“Pick it up and use me as an excuse to get off the phone.”
“Okay, hold on.”
“Hello?”
“Adrienne freaking Hodges!”
“Hey, Cecily.” I use my fake happy to hear from her voice.
“I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for the longest time.”
“I’m so sorry. You know how it is. Work and everything.”
“Mommy mentioned you were working long hours and stuff. You’re still a resident, right? You know, I don’t know the difference. When do you become a real doctor?”
Her question irks the hell out of me, which I’m sure was her intention.
“I already am an actual doctor,” I say plainly. “A residency just means that I’m still training in my specialty under the senior physicians at the hospital.”
“Oh, that’s right.”
My cousin can be a Grade A bitch when she wants. She’s so passive aggressive it’s sickening, and my mom doesn’t see it at all. She loves her niece about as much as she loves me, sometimes I think even more.
“Listen, I’m on the other line, but I know you’re calling about the shower. I responded weeks ago.”
“You sent a text, so I wasn’t sure.”
You weren’t sure about the text that read: I will attend?
“I’m coming.” I say matter-of-factly. “I wouldn’t miss it.”
“Fantastic, I’ll seat you next to my sorority sisters. I want you to get to know them better.”
“Uh-huh, great.”
“So, how’s my boy Troy doing?”
Cecily thinks Troy is the greatest thing since sliced bread, but that’s what she thought about my last boyfriend too. That must be the one thing we have in common, a terrible judge of character.
“He’s good. Look, I gotta go,” I cut off the conversation. “I’m on the other line with Dena. I’ll call you later.”
“Oh,” she sounds flustered by my abruptness, but this is the only way to deal with Cecily. Politeness gets you nowhere but on the phone for thirty minutes longer than you ever wanted to be. “Okay, tell her I said hi and if I don’t talk to you before then I’ll see you at the shower. Remember, the color theme is blush pink.”
