I clear my throat, avoiding her eyes. "I, uh—I didn't."
Mom's go wide. "What? Brooke, why?"
I glance obviously around the waiting room, then bring my gaze back to hers. "We've been a little busy, Mom. This was so much more important. Besides… he hasn't tried to reach me either."
My voice softens as the weight of that settles.Mom nods, her brow furrowed, but to her credit, she doesn't jump in.
"Anyway, I think it's over now. He's leaving—or he's not. Either way, I think it might just be a sign that it wasn't meant to be."
"Is it?" she presses quietly. Her tone is gentle, but the question cuts deep. I narrow my eyes, preparing to answer, but before I can, she strikes again. "Or is it just safer to let him go and pretend that it won't break you than to let him leave you first?"
Her words land with a force I wasn't expecting, and Alex's echo in my mind.
"You can cut people out easier than anyone I know."
I part my lips to respond, but nothing comes. No excuses. No defenses. She's right. It's my reflex to shut people out—at least emotionally. Toguard my heart from those who threaten to hurt it. It doesn't make it right. But it's helped me survive.
"You don't have to be scared, Brooke," Mom reassures. "If you learn anything from me, please don't let it be timelines or correct paths. Let it be this—don't allow fear to make you walk away from the very thing you're the most afraid of losing."
My chest is somehow suddenly both too full and airless at the same time. "I'm notthatscared of losing him," I whisper mostly to myself. But even I don't believe it.
Mom tilts her chin down and gives me that mothering look. "Right or wrong, many things have been said in my house that should have gotten a reaction out of you, Brooke. But only one landed so hard you had to run. And that is Andrew—"
"Just Drew."
"Right. That is Drew Alder—"
"Anderson."
Mom looks at me blankly. "Mhmm, Drew Ander—you know what? You get what I'm saying. You brush everything off, Brooke. And this—he—was the only thing that challenged that."
I swallow hard, scared to admit the truth. "Yeah… I guess you're right."
"Well, there's something I've never heard you say."
I peer up to see her smiling at me, and I smile back. "Here's something else you've probably never heard—I really am looking to settle down, Mom. With the job thing."
"I can see that. And I am so proud of you."
Her words hit with more edge than they should.He was right.
"It's hard, but I'm trying," I say, defeated.
"It'll come."
"And with relationships."
She nods. "I see that too."
I take a deep breath, choosing my words carefully. "Iamscared," I finally admit.
Mom presses her lips together and brushes the pad of her thumb across my hand. "Yeah… I know a little something about that."
"Relationships are hard enough, but this is all just…a lot. His image, the age difference, these rumors. I've spent all this time holding on to who I am—guarding myself from everything. I thought when I found someone, it'd be simple. This isn't. And I'm afraid I'll get lost in the… in themuchnessof it all."
"Oh, hunny," she coos. "That's where you're like me. But that's the best part of finding someone—finally being able to be Ivy. At least withhim. Letting go just enough to not have to carry it all on your own. Despite outward appearances, you've spent your whole life trapped in here." She drops my hand and reaches forward to tap my temple, then gently presses her finger against my chest. "Because you're afraid of what living inheremight be like."
The corners of my lips curl up slightly, and she nods as if she's been waiting for it. "I know I've had a lot to do with that."
