“Right.” Erica gripped the wheel. “So are you going to do that?”
“Have another baby? No, of course not.” Anna stared ahead. “At least, I don’t think so.”
“You don’tthinkso? Anna, you’re almost forty!”
“Thanks for the reminder. Women do still have babies at forty, you know. But that isn’t the point. The point is that no matter how many children you have, there is always a last child. So I suppose deep down I know this is something I have to face eventually. And only I can do it. If I decide to have another baby then it has to be for the right reasons. And now let’s talk about something else.”
“In a minute.” Erica slowed as the traffic came to a standstill. “Surely the kids leaving has some benefits. For a start you and Pete will be able to have sex all over the house. Imagine the freedom.”
“I think that will just remind me how empty the house is.”
She wasn’t the only one whose life had changed, Claudia thought.
“It feels strange, handling a big change at forty. This should be a time for building on everything that has gone before.”
“Yes.” Anna turned in her seat to look at her. “And I don’t feel I have the confidence to do anything different. But there are so many examples of people who do.”
Erica tapped her fingers on the wheel, impatient for the traffic to move. “What are you saying? That the decisions you make when you’re young dictate the rest of your life? That’s ridiculous. Not to mention restrictive. Some people change a lot between twenty and forty. Look at Jack. He didn’t train as a lawyer until he was thirty.”
Claudia was intrigued, and not only because it was unlike Erica to mention Jack except in relation to sex. “Really? I didn’t know that. What did he do before?”
Erica stared at the road ahead.“Medicine.”
“You’re kidding. He was a doctor? And he gave it up?”
“Yes and yes. It wasn’t for him. He could have carried on and made it his life, but instead he admitted he’d made a mistake and started again.”
“That’s a very brave thing to do,” Anna said.
“It is. But the point I’m making is that it’s never too late to do something different.”
“I like that.” Anna sat back in her seat. “I also like the fact that you and Jack do occasionally talk.”
“I never said we didn’t talk.”
“But you didn’t reveal that you’ve been sharing innermost secrets.”
Erica made an impatient sound. “Maybe you should be a romance novelist. There’s a gap in the market since Catherine Swift turned to crime.”
“You’re changing the subject,” Anna said. “I think there is far more to your relationship with Jack than you’re sharing.”
Noticing Erica’s shoulders tense, Claudia decided it was time to change the subject. “Any chance of stopping soon? I’ve lost the feeling in my legs.”
“Do you want to swap?” Anna was instantly generous. “I can sit in the back for a while.”
“That makes no sense,” Erica said. “You have longer legs than Claudia.”
“I used to have longer legs,” Claudia muttered, “but I’ve evolved over time to be able to squish into your vehicle. Darwinism or something. Survival of the shortest.”
They stopped for lunch at a little roadside diner with a revolving Christmas tree and copious twinkling lights.
“Don’t judge,” Erica said. “The reviews say the food is excellent.”
Trying not to wince at the tinny Christmas music playing in the background and the staff wearing reindeer antlers,Claudia ordered a simple grilled cheese sandwich.
Her low expectations were blown away at the first bite. She closed her eyes as she chewed. “Simple, but delicious. Local aged cheddar and heirloom tomatoes. When you have ingredients as good as this you don’t need to invent fancy dishes. Add a little mustard and a splash of bourbon and you elevate the flavor to something spectacular.” She heard muffled laughter and opened her eyes to see her friends grinning at her across the table. “What?”
Anna looked at Erica, who shrugged.
