Thanking the woman, she ended the call and decided she needed to get back if she was going to unload all her new purchases before Roy arrived to decorate the house.
There were a couple of families with young children choosing their tree, and she felt a twinge of envy. She felt an urge to tell them to hold on to these moments because before you knew it, the children would have flown the nest, and gathering them together again would be rare and precious and never the same as when they were young. But she said nothing, because she knew that right now their focus was on the moment and the challenge of preventing those inquisitive children from breaking baubles or pulling berries from branches of mistletoe. If she told them how fast it was all going to go and thatpretty soon they’d be looking back and wondering how time had passed so quickly, they’d look at her blankly.
Of course they would. She would have done the same at their stage of life.
She arrived home just before lunch and found Martin still on the sofa where she’d left him. His shoulders drooped. The mug of tea on the table in front of him was untouched. He was staring at the television screen at some daytime quiz show, but she knew he wasn’t paying attention. He’d never watched daytime TV in his life before retiring. In fact, he’d barely turned on the TV at all—he’d always been too busy with other things. She’d been unable to persuade him to sit down even for five minutes.
She felt a pang of love and sympathy.
“Martin? How was your morning? I bought a few extra things for Christmas. I could do with some help getting it all in from the car.” Hopefully the prospect of Christmas would galvanize him into action. He’d always loved this time of year and was known as a genial host.
“I’m a bit tired. Maybe later.”
He didn’t even look at her.
She had never felt so helpless. Normally when they were facing a big change, she anticipated the potential challenges. When the children were born, when they left home and the two of them became empty nesters—she always had a plan to help cope with each new phase. But Martin had been looking forward to retirement, talking about it constantly, and when people had asked her if she thought he’d struggle to adjust she’d laughed.
This new reality had come from nowhere and caught her by surprise.
On impulse she sat down next to him. Her Christmas haul could wait.
“I’m worried about you.”
He stared at the screen that he wasn’t watching. “Why?”
“Because you’re not yourself.”
“I’m just tired. I’m an old man now, didn’t you know?” He glanced at her briefly, with a glimmer of a smile. “I need to rest more.”
“You’re not old, Martin. You’re the same man who was working a stupid number of hours just a couple of months ago.”
“Maybe I’m paying the price for that. I really am tired, Jen. Let’s leave it at that. I’ll be fine.”
But she couldn’t leave it at that. How could she?
“Has something happened that I don’t know about? You were looking forward to retiring.”
“I was. And with reason. Finally I don’t have to set the alarm in the morning. I can sleep until midday if I want to.”
The old Martin wouldn’t have wanted to. The old Martin would have thought that was a waste of a life and would have been pressing ahead with a thousand tasks that would have had her head spinning.
She took a different approach. “I took the tree to my parents this morning.”
“I’m sure they were pleased. They love a tree, don’t they? Was everything okay?”
“Yes, although I think my dad was hoping you might help him.”
“With what?”
“His book.”
Finally Martin looked at her. “He’s been talking about this book forever. Are you telling me he has actually written something down?”
“I’m not sure he’s actually written anything, but he’s on the verge of it.” She saw Martin smile and that small win felt like a triumph. “He wants to talk to you about what he has in mind. He’s worried he has been retired for too long, and he wants to make sure what he is planning is current and relevant.”
The smile disappeared and his gaze shifted back to the TV. “How would I know? I’m retired too, remember?”
She managed to rein in her frustration. “It’s a matter of months since you were the busiest doctor in the area. I don’t think you’ve lost all your knowledge in such a short time.”
