“Maybe not, but I don’t feel up to writing a book.”
“My father is the one writing the book.”Or not.“You’re just going to help him untangle his thoughts. I know he’d appreciate it, Martin.”
He sighed. “Fine. I’ll talk about it with him when he’s here for Christmas, but I don’t really see what I can contribute.” He reached for the remote control and changed the channels. “He did the same job I did.”
“But he has been retired for decades. Everything has changed. Priorities change.” She paused. “I’d appreciate help unloading the car, and decorating the trees.”
“Trees?” He flicked to a nature series. “We already have a tree.”
“I bought a few more. To make the house extra Christmassy for Hayley.”
“Hayley?”
“Jamie’s girlfriend! We’re having a party tomorrow night. They have something to tell us. Please tell me you haven’t forgotten all this.”
“No, of course I haven’t forgotten. I just forgot her name was Hayley, that’s all. And you can’t blame me for that. It’s not as if we’ve ever met her. He has only been with her five minutes.”
“It has been a couple of months.”
“Exactly. A couple of months. I’ve had colds that have lasted longer.”
“Oh Martin!” She shook her head in despair. “If you’re going to be this grumpy when the children arrive then you’ll worry them.”And ruin Christmas.
“I promise to pull myself together and be my usual jolly self.”
“Good.” She leaned in to give him a kiss. “And you should be pleased Jamie is serious about someone. After that disastrous relationship with Poppy I wasn’t sure he’d trust anyone again. I’m relieved he’s happy.”
“Early days.”
“True, but maybe it only took a short time for them to know they were in love. I fell in love with you that very first day I saw you on the ward.”
“You did not.” He switched the TV off and looked at her. There was a hint of laughter in his eyes. A hint of the old Martin. “I seem to recall you shouted at me for taking bloods from one of your patients without checking with you first. You terrified me.”
“If I remember correctly that patient was due for an X-ray at the same time. And I most certainly did not shout. I may have spoken to you firmly.” She shifted closer to him. “It feels like yesterday. How has time passed so quickly?”
“I don’t know.” He rubbed his hand across his jaw and she noticed that he hadn’t shaved.
He always shaved.
She took his hand. “You’re my best friend. You’ve always been my best friend. You do know that?”
He hesitated. “Yes.”
“Then tell me what’s in your head. Tell me what you’re thinking. You were looking forward to retirement but it’s clear you’re not enjoying it so far. You’re not yourself. Are you missing it?”
“No. The pressure over the past couple of years have been enormous as you know. It’s hard to please anyone these days.”
And yet he had pleased them, she knew that, and she hadn’t needed to have that conversation with Roy’s wife to remind herself of that fact. His patients had loved him. During his last few weeks at work he’d been showered with gifts and cards. They had more scented candles than they would ever use, andif they’d eaten all the chocolates he’d been given and drunk all the wine they would have needed medical help themselves. But she knew how touched he’d been by the outpouring of affection. Had that made him question his decision to retire?
“You were very busy. Although in one way it must be a relief to no longer have the pressure, it’s a big adjustment not going to work every day.” She was stabbing in the dark but he wasn’t offering up any clues so she didn’t know what else to do but make some guesses. “Do you wish you were back there?”
“No. Definitely not.” He said it so emphatically she knew he was telling the truth.
So it wasn’t that he was missing work.
“Martin—”
“I’ll be all right. Don’t fuss.”
