“Really?” I ask, slumping back on my seat as I scan the faces of the women around me.
“Really.” Charlotte offers me a sympathetic smile, and I deflate even more.
What if it was me? What if I’m the problem?
“Let me ask you this,” Charlotte says, watching me closer. “Was ithisfirst time, too? Because that might explain it a little more.”
“No.” I twist my hands in my lap, wondering if that’s a mark for me or against me. “We haven’t had a lot of in-depthconversations about his past relationships, but I know he has more experience than I do.”
“I take it you didn’t finish?” Samantha asks.
I bite my lip, and they see the answer without me having to say it.
“Then it’s on him. Totally,” Brynn says, as if reading my mind.
“Really?” I ask, hating how relieved I sound when I should be concerned with the possibility Ethan and I aren’t sexually compatible and how I can fix it. “You’re sure?”
“My first time was with Jace, and it was—” Brynn mimes an explosion around her head.
“Same with me and Damon,” Avery says, her tone soft. “Sorry.”
I slump back in my seat, mulling it over.
Shit.
“It could’ve just been the booze,” Liz supplies, her expression one of sympathy. “Since you said he’d been drinking as well.”
“Yeah.” Charlotte nods, but why do I feel like she’s just trying to make me feel better? “Try it sober, and see how it goes,” she says. “Also, don’t be afraid to speak up. Tell him what you want.”
I nod along, like what she’s saying makes total sense. And it does, but how the hell can I know what I want when I’m so inexperienced?
“Thanks. You’re probably right. I think I just had the first time built up in my mind, so it threw me when it wasn’t what I expected,” I admit, swirling my straw in my drink.
“Completely understandable,” Samantha says.
“And then that thing happened with Brandon, and it confused me even more.”
“Um, what now?” Brynn asks, and I instantly realize my mistake.
My head snaps up, and I can see the spark of interest ripple across our table.
“Something happened with Brandon?” Charlotte asks, cocking her head, a smile playing on the edges of her lips.
“It was nothing. Honestly.” I swallow over the bundle of nerves tightening at the base of my neck. “I just . . . we were having a spa day on Sunday, and—”
“Hold up.” Brynn raises a hand, the corners of her mouth curling into a smile. “A spa day? Like manicures and facials?”
I grin, thinking of Brandon as warmth fills my chest. “He let me put a face mask on him, then gave me a pedicure.”
“And that’s a problem?” Liz’s brow creases.
“That’s not the problem.” I groan. “He gave me a massage, which was amazing, but halfway through, I sort of discovered he . . .”
How should I word this?
“. . . was aroused. And not just a little. Ifelthis arousal with my hand, and I realize it probably doesn’t take much for guys to get that turned on, but in that moment, I met his eyes, and allI could think about was putting my hands in his pants to see if he was as big as he felt.”
“Fuck me, that’s hot,” Samantha blurts.
