"Because it's you," she says simply, like that explains everything.
It doesn't. Doesn't explain why she'd want someone who looks like me when she could have anyone. Doesn't explain why she's reaching for my face right now, her fingers trembling slightly as they approach the mask.
I flinch. Can't help it. The instinct to protect her from seeing what's underneath is bone-deep, older even than these feelings for her, stronger than my want.
But she doesn't pull back. Just keeps reaching, her fingers finally making contact with the fabric. She doesn't try to remove it. Just traces the edge where it meets my damaged skin, following the line of scars that climb toward my fucked up eye.
"I never wanted you to hide," she whispers. "Not from me."
You don't understand,I sign, my hands shaking.What's under my mask. What I am. A monster.
"A monster?" she echoes. "That's what you think?"
I nod, unable to meet her eyes.
"Tank." She waits until I look at her. "I've seen monsters. Real ones. The kind that wear expensive suits and smile for cameras while they—" She stops, swallows hard. "You're not a monster. You never were."
Even other monsters think I'm a fucking monster,I sign.
"Then they're idiots." Her hand moves from the mask to my chest, palm flat over my heart. "This is what matters. Not what's underneath the mask. This."
The touch burns through my shirt, through skin, straight to the part of me that's been dead since she left. The part I thought I'd successfully killed with distance and violence and refusing to let myself hope.
She's bringing it back to life, and I don't know if that's mercy or cruelty.
"I want you first," she says, and the words are so simple, so direct, they steal my breath. "Not Kade. Not the others.You. Right now. If you'll have me."
Ellie—
"I know what I'm asking." She moves closer, her body almost flush against mine now. "I know what I signed. But that contract says I belong to all of you. Not just Kade. So unless you're going to tell me you don't want this..."
She trails off, waiting.
I should say no, for her sake. Should sign that this is wrong, use the excuse that Kade will lose his shit even though I couldn't give less of a fuck what he wants when it comes to her.
But my hands move without permission, reaching for her hips, pulling her against me.
Want you,I sign with one hand while the other stays locked on her hip.Always wanted you.
"Then take me. Please, Tank. Make me forget everything except this," she murmurs, her fingers carding through my dark hair.
Thepleasebreaks me.
I lift her like she weighs nothing, carrying her the few steps to where the grass is softer, away from the log and the path. She wraps her legs around my waist, and even through layers of fabric I can feel her heat.
I lower us to the ground, settling her beneath me. The grass cushions her back, and the thin little rays of sunlight that make it through the trees turn her skin golden, too perfect to touch. She's so fucking beautiful it hurts to look at her.
You're sure?I sign, giving her one last chance to back out.
"I've never been more sure of anything." Her hands find my belt, already working the buckle with trembling fingers. "I need this. Needyou."
I help her with the belt, the button, the zipper. My hands are steadier than they should be, muscle memory from countless times I've imagined this exact moment.
Except in my fantasies, I'm not wearing a mask. Not hiding half my face from the only person who's ever made me feel truly and completely human.
But in my fantasies, I'm not a monster. I'm a person. One who deserves her.
But that's where my experience ends.Fantasy. I've never actually done this, and the reminder hits me like a cold bucket of water.
