Cricket nods when she sees me, and for a second, my heart does this stupid flip thing. She pushes her glasses up her nose, a gesture I’ve seen a thousand times, but now I find myself noticing the delicate line of her fingers and the way her lips look soft and inviting. She’s wearing a pink sweater I’ve probably seen her in before, but it’s like I’m suddenly seeing her for the first time. My thoughts scatter.
“How’s the new song coming?” she asks.
“Fine,” I say, probably too quickly. I grab a dinner roll and start tearing it apart just to have something to do with my hands. I shove a too-large chunk into my mouth.
“River was telling us about his plans,” Tobias says, passing me the mashed potatoes. “He’s looking for a place on Willow Shade Island.”
I choke on my roll. “What?”
Tobias slaps me on the back. “Don’t inhale your food.”
River chuckles, and I hate how genuine and likeable he sounds. “I didn’t get the part, but I fell in love with your island. I love the slow pace here, so different compared to LA. And I think this will be the perfect place to start working full-time on my filmmaking. Plus the people here are… wonderful.” He turns to smile at Cricket.
There it is again. That twist in my gut. Am I imagining it, or is she shimmering with happiness? When did she start glowing like that? Does she really like River that much?
Levi sets his fork down. “We’ve booked our wedding in Vegas. It will be at the Sterling Rose Chapel on Saturday afternoon, and I’m bringing gluten-free éclairs instead of a cake.”
Kiki leans forward. “That sounds wonderful, Levi. I can’t wait for your wedding.”
I glance at Cricket. This wedding might be the perfect time to get some alone time with her. Maybe I can gather up my courage to talk to her without River by her side every second. The thought makes me happy.
Levi grins at Claire. “We’re keeping it simple. Just us, an Elvis impersonator, and maybe some slot machines.”
Claire gasps and slaps his arm. “We arenothaving Elvis at our wedding!”
Everyone laughs, but I’m distracted by the way River reaches over to squeeze Cricket’s hand during the conversation. It’s such a small gesture, so natural, like he’s already claimed his place beside her. Cricket doesn’t pull away. If anything, she seems to lean into him.
My chest feels uncomfortable, like someone’s wrapped bands around my ribcage and they’re slowly squeezing me tighter. This is what jealousy feels like, I realize. This crushing weight, like an elephant sitting on my chest. I’m insanely jealous of River. How did I not see it before?
“Your wedding sounds amazing,” River says. “I hope you all have fun.”
Levi turns to him. “You know what? Why don’t you come with us? I feel like you’re already part of the family, River.”
The bands grow even tighter, and I can’t breathe.
River waves a hand. “Oh, I couldn’t crash your wedding.”
“Are you kidding? The more the merrier.” Levi motions to him. “What do you say, man? Up for a spontaneous Vegas adventure?”
River looks at Cricket, and I watch this whole silent conversation happen between them in the space of a heartbeat. She gives him a smile, and he grins back.
“I think that sounds amazing,” River says.
Cricket looks like she’s so happy she could burst. “This will be so much fun.”
I stab my fork into my potatoes a little too hard, and the scraping sound against the plate makes everyone look at me. “Sorry,” I mutter. “Hand slipped.”
But as everyone starts talking about the trip, what they’ll wear and the fun things to do in Vegas, I can’t focus on anything except the way Cricket keeps touching River’s arm when she gets excited about something. The way her hair catches the light from the chandelier when she tilts her head to laugh at his jokes. The way she keeps unconsciously moving closer to him as the conversation goes on.
It hits me like a freight train. I’ve totally fallen for her.
I’m not just attracted to her, not just confused by our kiss. I’m completely, utterly, hopelessly in love with my best friend. And it took watching her fall for someone else to finally figure it out.
The realization sits in my stomach like a stone. All this time, she’s been there. My best friend, my constant companion, the person I tell everything. She’s been the background music of my life, so constant and comforting that I neverthought to really listen. Until now, when the melody is about to be taken away from me.
“Micah?” Cricket’s voice breaks through my spiral. “You okay? You look pale.”
Everyone at the table is staring at me now, and I realize I’ve been sitting here in silence, probably looking like I’ve seen a ghost. “I’m fine,” I lie. “Just tired.”
