I go up the stairs to my room and shut the door, my chest tight. More tears are already threatening.
I throw myself face-first onto my bed and let my tears out. They’re hot and angry and full of embarrassment. How could I have been so stupid? Of course Micah didn’t feel anything. He was doing me a favor, showing me technique, like he said. Just because the kiss made me feel like I was flying doesn’t mean it meant anything to him.
I was right. There’s something wrong with me. I can’t feel anything when I kiss River, the perfect guy who actually likes me. But one demonstration kiss from Micah, who sees me as a sister, and I’m ready to throw away everything for a guy who will never want me back.
I bury my face deeper into my pillow and sob until my chest aches. This is exactly why I didn’t want to kiss him. Now I’ve ruined everything. How am I supposed to look at Micah tomorrow and pretend that kiss didn’t happen? How am I supposed to act normal when all I can think about is how right it felt to be in his arms?
My phone buzzes on my nightstand, and I consider ignoring it. But when I see River’s name on the screen, guilt crashes over me. Sweet, wonderful River who spent his whole day with me. He wants to still be friends, and friends don’t ignore each other’s calls.
I wipe my eyes and clear my throat before answering. “Hey.”
“I wanted to call and thank you again for today.” River’s voice is warm and genuinely happy. “I can’t remember the last time I had that much fun. You completely turned my mood around. You’re a good friend.”
Fresh tears spring to my eyes, but I force my voice to stay steady. “I’m glad. You needed some cheering up.”
“Are you okay? You’re not still upset, are you?”
I press my hand to my forehead. “No. Just tired. It was a long day.”
“Yeah, we did a lot of walking. But Cricket, seriously,today meant a lot to me. You helped me remember that there are good things in life even when everything feels like it’s falling apart. I hope our conversation at the end didn’t make you sad.”
The sincerity in his voice makes my chest tighten. Here’s this amazing guy who’s been nothing but kind to me, and here I am, obsessing over Micah again.
“It did,” I confess. “A little. But I’m glad you still want to be friends.”
“Speaking of which,” he says, and I can hear the smile in his voice. “I’ve been thinking more about what we talked about. About getting a place on Willow Shade.”
I sit up straighter, wiping my eyes. Maybe this is exactly what I need. Something to focus on besides Micah and that stupid, perfect kiss that didn’t mean anything to him. “Really? How soon are you thinking?”
“Well, I canceled my flight tomorrow. I’ll want to look at properties early next week. Maybe you could help me? You know the island better than anyone.”
“Of course.” I’m surprised by how much relief I feel at the thought of having a project, a reason to spend time with River and forget about everything else. “What kind of place are you looking for?”
“Something with a view of the water. I want something close to nature, maybe within walking distance of the marina? Somewhere I can just… breathe.”
“That sounds perfect.” I lean back against my headboard, grateful that talking to River is helping to calm the storm in my chest. “What about your family? What will they think about you moving across the country?”
River is quiet for a moment. “That’s… complicated.”
“How so?”
He sighs. “My family is very success driven. My older sister is a supermodel, my oldest brother is a businessman,quite successful in the tech industry, and my other brother just made partner at his law firm. They’re all these incredible overachievers, and then there’s me—the child actor who can’t get a job.”
“But you were on a huge show. That was incredibly successful.”
“Wasbeing the key word,” River says with a bitter laugh. “And honestly, even whenKid Logicwas at its peak, I don’t think my parents saw it as a real career. They were always waiting for me to grow out of it and do something more… substantial.”
I frown. “That doesn’t seem fair.”
“They mean well. They just have very high expectations. My dad’s a prominent businessman, my mom’s family has a lot of money, and she hangs out in high society. They want me to achieve great things, and lately, I feel like I’ve been letting them down.”
“River…”
“I haven’t even told them about losing my agent yet,” he admits. “How do I explain that the thing they were barely tolerating as a career choice has now completely fallen apart? They’re going to want me to come home, go back to school, find a ‘real job.’”
My heart aches for him. “I totally get that. My father puts pressure on me too. He’s this successful businessman, and he thinks writing isn’t a real income. He thinks marketing is a more stable career. Like him starting up his own business was any more stable than me doing it with my writing.”
“Right? What’s that about? I don’t know why parents think the arts aren’t a real pursuit. I love filmmaking.”
