CHAPTER 7
HOLT
Over the next several days, I tried to avoid Calla as much as possible. I’d leave as soon as she got there in the morning and told her I’d bring dinner home with me so she wouldn’t stick around and cook for us. But even trying to limit our interactions wore on me. Now that I knew how it felt to hold her against me, I craved it twenty-four-seven. I even checked to see if Nellie would be able to watch Lane during Friday night’s trail supper, but she’d already made plans to take her mom to Bingo. That’s how Calla ended up staying late again.
The guys gave me so much shit that I almost left trail supper early. Especially Harlan. Something was eating at him, but he didn’t want to talk about it, so he kept turning the conversation back to me. Tension was running high, and no one had made any headway on figuring out who’d written the Ex-List. Everyone finally shut the hell up when I brought out a peach cobbler I’d picked up from Nellie.
Now I was on my way home, my gut knotted so tight that I could barely breathe, my nerves shot, and my mind racing with possibilities of what I might find when I got there.
It was only ten, over an hour earlier than when I got home last Friday night. Early enough that I shouldn’t worry about Calla getting back to her grandparents’ place.
That was a lie. I worried about her every second of every day. She was so skilled when it came to working with Lane, it distracted me from how young she was. And even though she’d been in Hard Timber for a few weeks, it took time to get used to some of the hairpin turns and switchbacks on the mountain roads. To top it all off, she was a city girl who wasn’t used to keeping an eye out for bears and wolves and all the other wild animals that freely roamed around.
I wanted to protect her, to keep her safe. And that meant keeping her away from the biggest threat to her safety… me.
The lamp in the front room was on when I got home, though the house was quiet when I walked through the front door. Calla curled up on the couch, her hands tucked under her cheek, sound asleep. Damn, she was gorgeous. Her pink hair fell across her forehead, and I had to force myself not to reach out and smooth it away. The smattering of freckles over the bridge of her nose begged to be kissed, but I resisted.
As I stood there, wondering if I should wake her and send her home or leave her on the couch and spend all night pacing my bedroom floor, she shivered. I pulled the quilt off the back of the couch and spread it over her. Then I flipped off the lamp, double checked that all the doors were locked, and made myself go to bed.
Sleep was impossible with her in the next room, so I tried reading. When that didn’t work, I found a true crime podcast on my phone. But nothing could distract me from thinking about Calla in the other room. About how it had felt to kiss her a week ago. About how much I wanted to do it again.
When Lane started screaming, it was almost a welcome distraction. I threw off the covers and ran into his room, but Calla got there first. She sat on his bed, cradling him in her arms, whispering something so low that I couldn’t hear. My son melted into her, his cries turning into soft sniffles.
Calla looked up and caught me staring at the two of them. “Sorry. I heard him yell and just reacted.”
“Yeah. No worries. Thanks for helping.” I moved closer to the bed to check on Lane. “How’s he doing?”
“Better,” Lane said, his voice shaky. “Can I have a hug, Dad?”
“Of course, bud.” I held out my arms and he reached up for me. He still sat in Calla’s lap which put me way too close to her. The three of us ended up in an awkward embrace.
“I’ll let you take it from here.” She tried to scoot out from under Lane, but he wrapped one arm around her neck.
“Can you both stay until I fall asleep?” he asked.
I looked at Calla and she looked at me. The tension between us stretched as tight as a rubber band about to snap, but I couldn’t deny my kid. “Is that okay with you?”
She nodded so I walked around to the other side of the bed and sat down. Lane stretched out between us, a welcome barrier. We both just wanted what was best for him. Having a common goal made it easier to be so close.
“Will you sing me the brave song?” Lane asked, his voice already edged with sleep.
I didn’t know what the hell the brave song was, but Calla did. She started singing, her voice low and quiet.
“Close your eyes, the stars are near. The moon is shining, there’s nothing to fear. You’ve got your sword and your dino pack. The monsters run when you fight back.”
Lane burrowed down under the covers, a sleepy smile on his face, mumbling the words along with her while Calla continued.
“Brave in my dreams, strong as can be. Climbing tall mountains, swimming deep seas. No shadow too dark, no night too long. I chase them off with a hero’s song.”
She kept going, finishing the song with the line “I’ll be right here, I always stay. Dream your dreams, I’ll guard the way.”
Lane’s breath evened out, already deep asleep again.
“Where did you find that song?” I whispered. It was perfect for him. I needed to buy half a dozen copies and download it to my phone.
She gave me a sweet smile as she carefully climbed off the bed. “I made it up.”
“Made it up?” I scrambled off the bed after her. “You’re a songwriter?”
