Lane ran back to his bedroom, leaving Holt and I alone. I traced a finger over the intricate pattern. “She’s very talented.”
“Was.” Holt took it from me and set it on the back of the couch. “She passed when I was in middle school. Dad kind of fell apart after that.”
Saying I was sorry didn’t seem like enough. Not when I could hear the pain in his voice. “It must have been hard to grow up without a mom.”
“Yeah. That’s why I wanted to do better by Lane.” One shoulder lifted in a slight shrug. “Now I’m just trying to make the best of the hand I’ve been dealt.”
“You’re doing a great job. Not that you need me to tell you that.” Awkward silence settled over the room while we both waited for Lane to come back.
“It’s nice to hear.” He kept his gaze trained on the floor and didn’t look up, not even when I turned toward him, surprised at how much he was opening up. “Thanks, Calla.”
Stunned into silence, I wasn’t sure what to say next. Thankfully, Lane bounded into the room, saving me from having to respond. He handed a blanket to me and another to his dad, then started barking out orders about where we should begin. After fifteen minutes and a few rocky starts, we ended up with a small space tucked into the corner behind a recliner. Holt lined it with pillows and Lane outfitted his new fort with a flashlight, King Chomper, and a handful of fruit snacks in case we got hungry.
While the rain fell outside, Holt and I took turns reading him library books from the stack Lane and I had picked out the week before. Holt even loosened up enough to do the voices. That only made Lane beg me to join in, and the two of us performed several picture books. I lost track of time and let myself enjoy the experience of the three of us pressed close together inside the dark fort.
After we finished reading the last book, I looked down to see Lane had zonked out on a pillow. He looked so peaceful in his sleep, and I wished I could figure out a way to keep his nightmares away. Holt climbed out from underneath the blankets and held out a hand to help me up. I slid my palm into his and almost dropped it when the contact sent a zap of heat up my arm.
“You okay?” He wrapped his other hand around my arm to steady me. Concern creased his forehead, and the look he gave me told me he was struggling against the same building need that had been growing inside me.
“I should go. I really did promise my grandma I’d help her in the garden today.”
“You should go then.” He agreed with me, but his hands still held me in place.
I lifted my chin, forcing myself to look him in the eye even though I was nervous about what I might see.
Want, need, and desperation stared back at me, drawing me in like some magnetic force, like I didn’t have a choice. My palms flattened against his chest. His heart beat out an erratic rhythm underneath my hands. He didn’t move, just drew in a deep breath while I tried to talk myself into walking away.
But I couldn’t.
I bit down on my lip, not sure what should happen next. Leaving was the right choice. But being this close to him was absolutely intoxicating. I didn’t want the moment to end.
“Calla.” My name came out half plea, half warning. He sounded like a man who’d endured way too much pain.
I turned, pressing my cheek against his chest. His arms pulled me in closer, wrapping around me and securing me against him like I was his to protect. I didn’t have a ton of experience with guys, but I knew enough to tell he was into me. The thick ridge along the front of his gray sweats proved that. I stepped even closer, and he groaned.
“If you don’t leave now, I’m not going to be able to stop myself.”
“Stop yourself from doing what?” I wanted to see what would happen, how far he’d let himself go. This thing between us was bigger than both of us put together. I couldn’t walk away, not now.
He brought his hand up to glide along my neck, his thumb grazing the spot where my pulse fluttered out of control. His lips parted and he leaned down, cupping the back of my head and tipping my chin up to slant his mouth over mine.
My knees shook, threatening to buckle. I fisted my hands in the front of his shirt and held on for dear life as he took the kiss deeper. It was too much. My senses heightened. The feel of his shirt, the rough scrape of his whiskers on my cheek, the scent of fresh laundry and pine that I’d come to associate with him… the combination made me feel like I’d downed a gallon of whiskey even though I hadn’t had a drop.
His tongue slipped past my lips, and he took his time exploring my mouth while my nipples pebbled and my blood turned to molten lava. I’d never been kissed like that before. Hell, I probably never would be again. All I wanted was to stay in the moment until the end of time.
He pulled away first, his heart pounding under my hand. “We shouldn’t.”
“Right.” Of course he was right. He was my employer, for crying out loud. My hot boss who up until recently, I wasn’t even sure knew how to smile. I let go of his shirt and smoothed my hand over my top. What was the proper way to react to being kissed senseless by my boss after spending the freaking night at his house?
His thumb swiped over my bottom lip. “I’m sorry, Calla. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“Um, let me grab my purse.” Even though we’d crossed the line, it still felt like rejection. I whirled around and searched for anything that belonged to me. Seeing my keys on the table, I headed that direction and shoved my feet into a pair of shoes by the door. “Tell Lane I said goodbye.”
Holt hadn’t moved except to bow his head and prop his hand against the wall. Regret seemed to float out of every pore. It had been a mistake. One that left me not even knowing my own name, and one he clearly would never make again.
I fled to the safety of my car, stumbling along the way since I’d accidentally shoved my feet into his boots instead of my sneakers. I’d bring them back on Monday, assuming he even wanted me to return. There was no way I was going back in there now.
As I started to back down the drive, took one last look at the house. My heart squeezed tight, already missing a home that didn’t belong to me, that never would.
