He didn't lift his head. His back and shoulders lifted with one long breath.
"I talked with Casey last night and then again this morning before we came over to your place." She couldn't seem to get through to the boy. He remained distant and contrary no matter what she did.
Noah had been silent for so long that she started to worry. Why had he stayed if he didn't want to talk?
She shifted in her seat, untangling her feet and bringing them so her knees were bent in front of her. She nudged his thigh with one toe. "You haven't touched your hot chocolate."
He still didn't speak. His body language told her he’d shut down. Shut her out. She dropped her feet to the floor and scooted to the front edge of the cushion, putting her coffee mug on the table in line with his. "Noah—"
He lifted his hands to cover his face. Was he hiding? He laughed once, the harsh sound muffled, but nothing about it was happy or joyful. He dropped his hands, and she saw the stark expression beneath.
"Why am I even sitting here?" His words were softly muttered, and she didn't know if they were meant for him or for her. But they hit strong and true like an arrow to her heart.
"If you don't want to be here, with me, then…"
She was halfway to her feet when his grasp, tight on her wrist, stopped her. He turned toward her, his expression fierce and, at the same time, pained. "I can't remember anymore what it feels like not to want to be with you." He tugged her toward him.
His kiss was a claim. His lips slanted over hers. A question. A demand.
She let him in, let him take what he needed. His hands at her back were a firebrand, his grip proprietary. Almost as if he were afraid that if he let go, she would disappear. She twined her arms around his neck, one hand burrowing into the rich softness of the hair at his nape.
He broke away from her mouth to kiss her jaw, the sensitive place just behind her ear.
"I know I'm not supposed to, but I need you." His admission was a murmur against her jaw. She let her hand brush down the back of his neck. She meant the gesture to be comforting, but he sucked in a breath as if she'd hurt him somehow.
"It's okay to need me. I need—"
He kissed her again before she could get the words out, stealing her breath and scattering the rest of her thoughts.
"I'm lost," he whispered between desperate kisses.
She didn't want him to be lost. She wanted him to feel safe with her.
She offered with each touch what comfort she could. The frantic clash of lips and teeth slowed into a drugging, slow kiss. She held the back of his head in both her hands, and a slow sweep of her thumbs down the sides of his neck relaxed his tense grip at her waist.
She was the one who broke the kiss this time. She didn't pull away. She touched his jaw with the bridge of her nose and then swept her nose up the line of his jawbone.
"You're as bad as Honey Bear." His voice was raspy. His chest heaved as he fought for breath.
"Maybe I am. You're about to get snuggled on the couch."
As she settled beside him, she tried to form some rational thoughts in the wake of his kisses.
His embrace didn't mean things were fine between them. If anything, it meant there was more to work through.
He’d said he needed her, and the fierceness of his touch made her believe his words.
But he was the same man who’d tried to push her away.
"Why didn'tyou call me last night instead of Aiden?" Jilly's words were soft, and he heard that quiet hurt that laced them.
There was a part of him that didn't want to say, but he beat it into submission.
"Pride, maybe. Or... I don't know. I'm not supposed to care so much about a cat." After how quickly she'd pulled away at the park, he'd been scared to open himself up to her.
She made a cute little snort that expressed her amusement. "Anyone with eyes can see that tiny kitten has you wrapped around her tail."
He was close enough that he caught her wince in the brief blip of tension that went through her.
