Janet frowned.“Did you tell him during sex?”
He cleared his throat and nodded.
“You should tell him again, and not during sex.People say things in bed all the time that they don’t really mean.I thought that was common knowledge.”
Ian stared at her very serious expression.Hell.“I need to talk to him.”
Calling Sam took more balls than Ian had expected.He knew he’d upset Sam when he broke their date last night, and he needed to explain, but he wanted to do it in person.It wasn’t until he got to work, telling himself he had important things to take care of before he could see Sam, that he realized he was avoiding talking to him.
You’re scared.
Oh, hell yes I am.
Admitting it may be the first step to solving a problem, but Ian was at a loss as to what the next step might be.Self-fulfillment would be so much easier if everyone could agree on the necessary steps, write down the instructions, and then make sure they were widely available.Drop them from airplanes or something.
And shit, what if he’d really upset Sam?Ian thought it was reasonable, asking for a night alone, but Sam had seemed so, just,sad, as if Ian were trying to end things.But how could Sam think that?He went over it again in his head, but he still couldn’t see how Sam would get that idea.
Since he hadn’t quite worked up to calling Sam, Ian made a plan.He made reservations at the restaurant where they’d had their first date, but late reservations, because he wanted time alone to talk to Sam first.Okay, yeah, and maybe mess around.Make Sam come hard and fast and screaming his name, like that time after he’d messed up at the farmers’ market.Something special just for Sam.
Maybe he was imaging things, but lately he thought it made all the difference in the world to Sam thatIanwas with him.When they had sex now, itdidsomething to Ian.Grabbed him by the balls and wouldn’t let him go until he came, feeling some little thing inside him—another piece of the “Ian” puzzle—click into place.
At nearly four o’clock, Ian decided he needed to wrap things up and just go.He was pretty sure he knew where Sam would be: at the campus library.Maybe he could just surprise him.That would be so much easi—um, better than calling.
“Ian?”Dalton’s voice said at his elbow.“Jurgen Dammerung is on line one for you.”
Oh, yeah!He should have thought of that—Nik and Sam both had some app on their phones where they could locate each other by GPS.He could just ask Nik.“Hey!”he said when he picked up the receiver.
“You fucking dumbass,” Jurgen snapped.“I can’t believe this shit.What the hell is wrong with you?You love him, and if you fuck this up you’re going to regre—”
“What the hell are you talking about?”Ian interrupted.But the sick feeling in his stomach already knew what Jurgen was talking about.
“You know what I’m talking about.”
“I just needed to think,” Ian whispered.
“Oh myGod!”Nik’s voice broke in.
Wait.“Am I on speakerphone?”
Click.Nik’s voice came louder and clearer, without that tin-can quality.“Have you never broken up withanyonebefore?You don’t say ‘I need time to think’ if you actuallyjust need time to think.That’s relationship code for ‘I’m leaving you, and don’t call me I’ll call you’—which you compounded by telling him you’d call him when you were ready to talk!”
Ian’s palms started sweating.“Uh, can I talk to Jurgen?”
“No!He had his turn, now it’s mine.”
“It was kind of a short turn, and I was on speakerphone.”
“Nikky, give me the phone,” Jurgen said in the background.
“And since your education in these matters is clearly lacking, let me inform you that ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ is alsoverboten.”
Ian sucked in a breath.“What does that mean?”
“It means, ‘I don’t like you, get away from me.’Jesus,” Nik added in a mutter.“I’m going to be giving you the verbal ass-kicking you deserve now.We all know it’s really Jurgen’s job, but he seems to have some of the same communication difficulties you do—is that a family trait?”
“I don’t have communication difficulties, now give me the damn phone,” Jurgen said, louder.
“Jurgen,” Nik said, suddenly sweet.“Did you sit up half the night and drink yourself sick with a brokenhearted, crying Sam?No?In that case, I’m going to be doing the talking for now.”
