My sister comes back and takes her place between her husband and me. She reaches out and grabs both of our hands as hers tremble slightly. I can tell that she’s doing the exact same thing I am. She and Nix have been friends since they were both being held captive in a human trafficking ring as children. That was another life ago, before she came to live with us. She’s fucking hurting for them, but she’s also racking her brain on how to best help Mac. I squeeze her hand three times in a row and she returns the gesture without looking over at me.
I’m not sure how long we’re in the waiting room when my phone goes off. I quickly realize that my phone was the only one to ping as I pull it out and open the text.
Declan: I need you. Floor three. Tell them you’re security for baby boy Byrne.
Holy shit, what the hell is going on? I don’t ask questions, though. I move over to my group text with the guys and shoot off one singular text.
All Panic, no disco. Group Chat
Jakob: Don’t make a noise or a facial expression. They pick up on everything. Declan just texted me. I’m goingto him. Don’t follow. Don’t make it obvious.
*Elias liked your message*
*Tucker liked your message*
*Roman liked your message*
*Ethan liked your message*
*Jasper liked your message*
*Dieter liked your message*
*Miles liked your message*
I slide my phone back into my pocket and walk out of the waiting room. No one is paying me any attention, and they won’t so long as the guys keep their cool. The ride down to the third floor from the fourth is torturous. I want to throw up and I’m not even the baby’s parent. I can’t imagine how it feels to be the parents that have their babies taken from them so soon after birth and brought to an entirely different floor of the hospital to make them healthy. The heartache and soul shattering sense of helplessness that must overcome them. I can’t even imagine the fear and desperation that must take over their entire nervous systems.
The nurse at the front desk tries to deny me entry until I say the name ‘Byrne’, then she allows me back and tells me I’m looking for room nine. As I walk down the hall, I notice that the rooms are almost like fish bowls. The long sliding doors are made of glass and most of them are open. Some of the rooms have no parents in them, while some have one or both parents holding their babies. I pass one room that makes my knees buckle. It’s empty aside from two parents who clutch each other as the wails of pure agony fill the room and hallway. I place my hand on the glass door as I pass and tell myself to send up an extra prayer for them tonight. Turning a corner, I see Declan. He’s standing tall and strong in frontof the sliding glass door that must lead to his new nephew.
I don’t say a word until I’m standing directly in front of him, and even then I don’t speak. My arms wrap around him, and just like those videos of soldiers who get tapped out by their loved ones from basic, he grabs hold of me like I’m his lifeline. I have to work hard not to let the tears take over as he holds me close to him. As I whisper to him about how good of a brother he is and how much they love and trust him, my eyes wander into the room behind him. Kieran’s eyes watch me, and when I furrow my brow at him he nods at us and mouths ‘thank you’.
Once Declan gets himself together, he quickly wipes at his eyes with the backs of his hands and shakes out his arms and shoulders. “Thank you for coming back here.”
I stand beside him and grab his hand with my own, “Any time, Beast.”
He squeezes three times, and I squeeze back. I’ll stand here as long as he wants me to. And when it’s time to go home, I’ll take him with me to make sure he gets all the rest he needs. He’s exhausted beyond belief, and even though he isn’t good at taking orders, he needs someone to hand the control over to right now.
We stand shoulder to shoulder for another thirty minutes when his phone starts ringing. He lets it ring out until it stops momentarily and then starts again.
“Check that, Declan. It could be Rowan.”
His eyes snap to mine, momentarily dazed before he realizes the phone ringing is his. He answers it just before it stops.
“Roe, what you got?” He answers gruffly.
It’s so quiet out here that when Roe answers I can hear him as clearly as if he were standing in front of me. “I need tospeak to Kieran.” He answers in a monotone voice, which makes my stomach drop.
“Tell me.” Declan demands.
“You don’t get to know anything until he does. He’s the husband and Da, Dec. Give him the fucking phone.” He grits out.
Without another word, Declan walks into the room of the way too tiny baby and hands the phone to Kieran. Kie sits back in the rocking chair and closes his eyes as he talks to his brother. Rowan must tell him what’s going on with Nix because a sob wracks his body as the phone clatters to the ground. Kieran’s face is exactly what I would describe a broken and shattered man to look like.
Declan sinks to his knees in front of his brother and grabs him tightly as Kieran openly sobs into his shoulder. I don’t know what to do or what to say. So I turn to face the hall with tears streaming down my face. I’ll continue to guard the room as Declan holds his little brother while his soul shatters, the exact same way I held mine five years ago.
32
Chapter Thirty-Two
