Except he couldn’t escape reality. He couldn’t forget. Elodie made him want to. She made him want to throw caution to the wind and simply trust, to live on a hope and a prayer and believe the best would become reality. But he’d done that once before. He’d trusted Marcia. He’d planned to build a life with her. And she’d burned it all down around him. He’d lost so much, and he’d sworn to himself that he’d never be in that position again.
This baby was both a blessing and a curse, because it forced him to be vulnerable to something he’d chosen to avoid. He could still control it though. He could still keep things with Elodie neatly within the bounds of what he wanted their situation to be.
Parents with benefits, just as they’d agreed.
A frown was etched on his features as he moved across the terrace, because something inside of him was rebelling at that very idea, but he ignored it. At first, when he entered the house,he thought Gianni was playing the piano and singing, as was his usual after-dinner move. But it was too polished. Too beautiful. Raf stepped into the villa and strode towards the living room, only to stop walking and stand right in front of the door.
Gianni was at the piano, playing a moody jazz song, but to his right, Elodie was singing, and it was the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard. His family were staring in the exact same way he was—totally transfixed. All eyes were on her, but Elodie’s were closed, as she seemed to feel not just the beat of the music but the very heart of the song. Her lips moved—such beautiful, sensual lips—but they seemed to have the power of an instrument.
As she tapered off, at the end of the song, she opened her eyes and smiled, a silly, embarrassed smile, before her gaze landed on his and her face froze. Heat flushed her cheeks and she lifted her hands as everyone began to clap. “They made me do it,” she explained to Raf, laughing a little.
“Yeah, but we didn’t know you were like a professional,” Georgia called out. “You totally put us to shame.”
Her cheeks got pinker.
“She’s just teasing,” Maddie promised. “Elodie, that was incredible. Are you a musician?”
“God, no. I just sing in the shower.”
His gut rumbled. The only singing he’d heard her do in the shower had been screaming his name as he moved his mouth over her sex, then his fingers, then took her against the tiled wall. Pleasure throbbed in his gut, anticipation driving everything else from his mind.
“On that very beautiful note, it’s time for us to get going,” he said.
“We haven’t even had coffee yet,” Maria objected.
“Next time, we’ll stay later.”
“Growing a human is exhausting,” Elodie said, but when her eyes met his, Raf knew she was feeling exactly what he was. A desperate, consuming need to be alone. To do the one thing that made everything else feel as though it made sense. To make love, even when love wasn’t a part of this, for either of them.
Parents with benefits.He clung to that. Clung to it and held it to his heart.
The drivefrom Gianni and Maria’s villa to Raf’s was an actual agony. They’d barely spoken since leaving the house, besides the occasional civility—her thanks as he opened the car door, his reminder to buckle up. The air between them seemed to stretch with a new kind of tension, different to before. It was as though her whole body was on tenterhooks, needing to touch him, but knowing she couldn’t. She didn’t dare. Because one touch was going to ignite the whole damn situation.
Sure enough, as soon as he pulled up out in front of his villa, he unfastened his seat belt and was at her car door before she’d stepped out. The moment her feet connected with the graveled drive, he was scooping her up and carrying her up the stairs, towards the tiled hallway and then his bedroom. They didn’t make it, though. Somewhere along the way, she was kissing him and he was easing her to her feet, then she was dragging him to the floor, their clothes lost here, and there, torn from their bodies in their desperate need to connect. To touch. To feel this explosive sense of rightness.
And it was right.
She had no other name for this, for what they were doing, and how she felt, but it wasrightand that was enough for her.
It was soeasy to feel that way in the passion of the moment. So easy to surrender to the perfection of what she felt, tothe sublime certainty that everything was going to be okay. To pretend that they could just tumble in the door and fall into each other without there being a consequence or future problem. Like this was easy and no-strings, when the biggest string of all was tightening around them, growing inside of her, day by day.
This baby took away the freedom to surrender to passion. She’d known that from the beginning, but their chemistry had made it too difficult to fight. And now? When would that change, if ever. Would their baby come along and one day the passion would peter out, leaving them free to go back to their normal lives? What did that even look like?
Elodie’s life prior to meeting Raf had been completely different to this. Either way, she had been jettisoned into a whole new ballgame—one where Dante Santoro was telling her she’d always be a part of their family.
Even more troubling, though, was the gnawing feeling that she wanted more.
More than just being a co-parent with Raf. Someone she felt attracted to. More than he probably wanted to give. It was history repeating itself—Aaron had never loved her like she’d wanted to be loved.
Loved?
Her eyes burst open, focusing on the wall across Raf’s bedroom. They’d fallen asleep sometime after midnight, her head on his chest, listening to the beating of his heart. At some point, she’d rolled onto her side and his body was hugging hers now, one arm wrapped possessively over her, so she wondered if he might feel the way her heart had started to race.
Loved?
She didn’t love Raf. She couldn’t. They’d just met three seconds ago, more or less. Sure, they were having a baby together. And living together. And sure, they’d just spent the most incredible time on his yacht. But…that wasn’t love. Lovetook time, and knowledge. Love built slowly, with trust and friendship, with shared experiences.
Like with Aaron?
