He arched a brow.
“Why can’t we be parents with benefits?” she suggested, taking comfort in the cool pragmatism of her suggestion. “Occasional benefits,” she added, because she felt as though she was already asking for something outside the paradigm of what they’d agreed. What she’d said, only two days ago, was how it had to be.
But spending time with Raf, she now knew it was unrealistic not to expect their chemistry to flare up. It was far smarter to have a plan for how to deal with that, new boundaries, that reflected the reality of their circumstances.
“I thought that complicated everything?”
“Everything’s already complicated,” she pointed out, brow arched. “It’s worse if we ignore the elephant in the room.”
Half his mouth shifted in the hint of a smile. “So, what does this look like?”
Her heart skidded painfully in her chest. “Like last night. From time to time.”
“Are we going to put a limit on it?”
She laughed then, a shaky sound. “I don’t think we need to be so prescriptive, do you?”
“Meaning…”
“We just…let ourselves enjoy this. Knowing that it means nothing. That our first duty is to our baby, always.”
“Always,” he agreed, as he swept her into his arms and kissed her like they’d been parted for years, not hours.
The phone conversationwith her parents, much later that day, went exactly as she’d imagined. They were shocked, confused, a little offended that she hadn’t told them sooner, and then, devastated to learn that not only was she not in a relationship with the father of her baby, she also had no plans to marry him.
“They’re old fashioned,” she explained to Raf, later, as they sat on the edge of the pool, feet dangling in the water, sipping delicious mocktails he’d somehow whipped up.
“They want us to get married?”
“They’d prefer I was married before having a baby, yes.”
“And you?”
“Nothing about this is really what I would have planned,” she pointed out, wrinkling her nose, then wondering why that felt like a lie. She hadn’t planned this and nor had Raf. And yet, weirdly, Elodie almost couldn’t imagine how her life was meant to be. It felt as though all her original plans, her life with Aaron, existed in a parallel universe, one she couldn’t ever imagine finding her way back to. Even when it felt so comfortable, it no longer felt right.
“Still regrets though?” he asked, eyes roaming her face intently.
“Weirdly, no,” she said with a tremulous half-laugh. Then, she reached out and put her hand over his, shaking her head slowly. “Life is weird, right?”
“Very weird,” he said, grinning, and then, to underscore the unpredictability of it all, he eased himself into the water and held his hands up to her, despite the fact she was still wearinghis soft, black t-shirt. She didn’t hesitate, though, before sliding down into his arms and kissing him, ignoring the persistent alarm bell, that was trying to remind her this was supposed to be occasional, not regular.
“I should go and meet them,” he said, when they finally separated for air, and had moved to look at the setting sun, over the Tuscan countryside.
She was so addled by the kiss, and the way his hands had roamed her body, that it took her a second to catch up. “My parents?”
“Would it help?”
“Probably,” she said, thinking if they were anything like Elodie, they’d take one look at Raf and fall under his spell. “But there’s no rush. We still need to work everything out first, you know? Let’s just…give this time.”
“Does that mean you’d prefer not to get to know my family as well?”
She tilted a glance at him, her heart turning over in her chest as she studied his features—features she now knew as well as her own. Would their baby look like him, or her, or a mix of both? “I’m curious about them,” she said, honestly. “But it’s the same as my parents. I just don’t know if we need to rush things.”
He didn’t get a chance to reply. Her phone, across the pool, began to ring, the tone cutting through the intensity of their conversation. And she was glad for that, in a way, because thinking about their families made everything seem so real. It made her feel as though there were too many other people factoring into their lives, and she just wasn’t ready for that.
“I need more time to get used to it,” she said, with a shake of her head. “I’ll be right back.” She moved through the water, fully aware she wouldn’t reach her phone in time. And sure enough, as she put one foot on the steps, it stopped ringing. She keptmoving towards it though, curious about who was calling her, and as she got close to the lounger, it began to ring once more.
Aaron’s face appeared on the screen. A rush of guilt flooded her. Guilt, because she was here with Raf. Guilt, because Aaron was calling her. She felt pulled in two very different directions.
