He needed to think this through, to work out the best way to manage this and avoid Elodie ending up in yet another disastrous situation.
How could she have put up with that guy though? And for so many years.
Because she loved him,a voice reminded Raf. Anger flared in his gut.Love. Stupid, inexplicable, untrustworthy love. How he hated it, and the whole idea of it. Love had driven Marcia to an act of insanity, to gamble on being able to conceive as soon as they were married, so that Raf would never know the truth. Love had made her lie to him about one of the most important things in this world. Love had destroyed his father, ruined him, because the flipside of love was loss, and burying their mother had ruined him.
Wasn’t there something better than love, anyway? What about respect and cooperation, consideration and decency?
More and more, he realized, as he ran, that he could turn this situation with Elodie into something that worked for both of them. He would support her in her dreams. They would raise the baby together. And sometimes, when they needed it, they would fall into bed together, as they had last night.
Even the thought of that, though, had him growing hard, his body instantly responding to the idea of making her his again. Would that be the worst thing, he wondered, pausing as he crested over a gentle hill, then stopping completely, hands onhips, eyes trained on the view back towards his villa. The roads out here were deserted—barely used, except by the handful of people who had homes spread across this part of Tuscany. Everything about last night had been organic and urgent, as though coming together was just meant to be. They’d both needed it. One night hadn’t been enough, but was two?
She was seriously longingfor a second coffee when she heard—or felt—him enter the villa. Footsteps, and a definite change in atmosphere, so she cursed herself for not taking the time to change out of his shirt. But the truth was, she liked it. She liked the way the soft fabric felt against her naked body, the way it smelt faintly of him, the way it brushed her nipples and reminded her of his touch.
“Hey,” she said, nerves spreading through her like wildfire.
He was wearing shorts and a shirt, and bright white running shoes. There was a ring of perspiration at his collar that made her want to lick him and taste that salt. Which wascrazy.She had always found sweat disgusting but on Raf…nothing was. Everything about him was?—
She cut the thought off before it could take hold.
He wasn’t talking. He was just staring at her. In a way that made her body quiver and her insides pulse with heat, so she wondered if he was thinking all the things she was?
God, this was going to be hard.
So much harder than they’d thought.
“About last night,” he said, so she braced for whatever he was going to say, not sure what she evenwantedhim to say. Just knowing that what came next mattered.
“Yeah?” she prompted, when he trailed off into nothing.
“I just wanted to make sure you were okay with it.”
He saidnothing.Nothing about his own feelings and wants, about what he thought should happen. He was just checking in on her. She supposed she should have been grateful. It was yet another stark point of difference with Aaron. When had he shown even a hint of concern with where she was at? Then again, why would he have? She had seemed fine. Happy with the status quo. She’d genuinely believed that herself. Until—until she’d met Raf and realized how unexplored the possibilities were for her, how much of the world there was to see, and experience.
“Elodie?” His tone was sharp, drawing her gaze back to his face, to the concern etched there. The regret. Which was the last thing she wanted him to feel.
It reminded her of something she’d thought, the night before, as the inevitability of what was happening had become clear. “Sleeping together was a mistake,” she said, softly. Because how could it be anything else? She moved towards him slowly though, just a few steps, because it felt strange to have so much air between them. “But I don’t regret it,” she admitted, nerves stretching taut at how much of herself she was putting on the line. “You?”
She waited, silence throbbing around them, twisting painfully, making her insides hurt.
“I don’t regret it, no.” But he was frowning, as though something was wrong. She closed the distance between them and reached up, wondering if she had any right to touch him, but not being able to stop herself. She ran her hand over his cheek, so his face tilted down towards hers.
“You look concerned.”
“I am.”
“What about?”
“You. This.” He shook his head a little. “This is new territory for me. It’s everything I told myself I wouldn’t want.”
“Me?”
“Any kind of relationship.”
Her heart stammered. The complications of that were huge. A relationship? She was supposed to have been married to Aaron. Yet she and Raf were having a baby together. The stakes were too high to even think about dating. It made her head spin. “Then let’s not be in a romantic relationship,” she said, slowly, still touching his cheek. Her fingers felt warm, sparking at the touch.
“I was strangely afraid you were going to say that.”
His honesty made her heart flip. “Something tells me you’re familiar with the concept of friends with benefits.”
