He disconnected the call and strode through the villa, glancing through the rooms as he went. It was a large, sprawling home, that had once upon a time belonged to his grandfather. Raf had taken it over a month after his divorce. There was something about its placement, on the top of a gentle hill, that had promised both serenity and isolation, such a reprieve from the lifestyle he’d carved out for himself. He doubted anyone in his family knew how often he came here, how it had become a place to lick his wounds, in a way.
For the most part, he’d made an artform out of running from Marcia’s deceit, from the damage it had wrought on his life. Here, he had no choice but to face that head on, to face his grief, and let it become a part of him.
But knowing Elodie was here gave him a strange feeling. It changed the villa, from a place he sought isolation, to be alone with his thoughts, and made him unfailingly conscious of her presence.
He thought he would resent that, even when he’d insisted upon it, but he didn’t.
He found her sitting in an armchair in the loungeroom, bathed by a wide triangle of sunlight that was flooding in through the glass. Her honey highlights shone like spun gold, so he wanted to reach out and run his fingers through her hair.
He shoved his hands in his pockets instead. “The doctor just called.”
She glanced up at him, a hint of pink darkening her cheeks, as her body shifted. His gut rolled with the same need that had been pummelling him not half an hour earlier. She had been totally right to put a stop to what they’d been doing, but hell, he really wished she hadn’t. He suspected that if things had run their course, he’d be feeling like a fucking God right now.
“And said what I’ve been saying all along?”
He ground his teeth, refusing to get into an argument about that.
“He’s happy to oversee your obstetric care in conjunction with a local team.”
Her brow furrowed.
“It’s your decision. What do you want to do?”
“The options being see a team here in Italy or see a team here in Italy who then works with your London obstetrician? Geez, Raf. That sounds a bit like the difference between light and slightly less light.”
Something about her tone had him pausing. “You seem…annoyed.”
She sighed. “I’m…something.”
He crossed his arms, waiting for her to elaborate. Her eyes ran over his face in a way that made every cell in his body jump “This is all just happening so fast. Can we just take a week or two to absorb this? Without making any major decisions, I mean.”
“The doctor said you should have scan in a fortnight.”
“And I’m sure you can pull strings to arrange that at a moment’s notice,” she pointed out. “I haven’t even told my parents yet.”
His brows lifted and a feeling like guilt tightened inside his chest. It was something he’d missed, and Raf, as a rule, didn’t miss things. “Of course. We should do that immediately.”
Her lips parted in that way she had, that way that drove him absolutely wild. That made him want to reach out and smudge his thumb across her mouth, then claim it with his own.
“Hold on a second,” she said, breathily. “There’s no ‘we’ about this.”
“Wemade a baby, didn’t we?” he pointed out, voice neutral when her quick rejection of his suggestion irritated him more than it should.
She compressed her lips. “Less than six months ago, I was engaged to someone else. I was weeks away from getting married. They’re going to need to be handled gently. I can’t just turn up with you and drop this on them.”
It was all so fair and reasonable. Yet again he had the sense that she was able to put aside the chemistry that sparked in the air with them and make good judgement calls. Something he’d failed at spectacularly from the moment he laid eyes on her. Even that first night, she’d done what she should have—walked away from him.
Then, she’d changed her mind, but that had been out of anger at her ex, not because of Raf. If she had shown a single moment of weakness in the time they’d spent together, it had been inspired by someone else, not him. Whereas Raf couldquite clearly see that it was Elodie who was driving him wild. Elodie who was making him speak without thinking, want what he shouldn’t have. Marcia had defined every lifestyle choice he’d made for the last two years, with one exception. With Elodie, it hadn’t been about sleeping with her to forget. It had been about claiming her because he needed to; because he wasn’t sure when he’d ever wanted someone like that before. Recognising that made him feel so far out on a limb he could practically hear it snapping beneath him. It made him see with blinding clarity how much more careful he needed to be around her. Control was not something Raf planned to give up without a fight.
“So how do you want to tell them?”
She pulled her lips to the side. “How likely is it that the news will leak?”
Remembered pain clutched in his chest. Marcia’s miscarriage had leaked. Now that he knew it was fake, he suspected that leak had come directly from her, or one of her so-called friends. Still, he couldn’t offer any guarantees to Elodie. “It’s possible. I don’t know how likely, but it’s an outcome we should be prepared for.”
“In which case, I should tell them sooner rather than later. I’ll call them.”
A part of him wanted to suggest she do it face to face, but something held him back. Yesterday, they’d both been reacting to the discovery of her pregnancy. Perhaps it was Elodie’s state of shock that had allowed him to convince her to come to Italy. He had no reason to think that if they flew back to the UK again already, she’d return with him. And too much was at stake to risk it.
