The soturi who had answered Sean’s call were surprisingly well prepared with tents, extra clothes, and weapons which they happily shared with the former akadim. But even after a whole day of bartering, stealing, and sharing, we still were woefully behind in supplies. Suddenly, feeding Rhyan was the least of my worries. I had to find a way to feed over a hundred of us. It was decided quickly that almost everyone would be sharing a tenttonight, squeezing in as many bodies as they could get inside. At least half of the soturi would be sleeping under the stars. Sean was already working out a schedule of who would take overnight guard shifts and where to place everyone, and Rhyan was working closely with him. After the initial shock wore off from seeing the healed akadim, and his new role amongst them, he had taken on this look of utter determination. Like he needed to prove that he was worthy of the promises and oaths given to him today. And given me.
He couldn’t see it yet. He was so worthy. And as the hours went on, I could see that there was a part of him that wasn’t fully here. It was the part of him that was still holding himself to a higher standard, an impossible one.
The part of him that had had a panic attack just this morning because he could remember hurting me. Remember the taste of my blood.
I tried to talk to him a few times throughout the day, but there was so much to do and arrange, so many new logistical puzzles appearing every other minute. Eventually, I had no choice but to give up and keep working. With so much happening, the day passed in a blur, and the sky darkened. More soturi returned with food, and several bonfires were set for warmth and cooking. And before I knew it, someone was handing me a plate of hot food. I searched for Rhyan in the crowd. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen him. Hours ago? I asked around, eventually found myself sitting with several soturi, listening as they shared stories from home, from their countries and Kavim. Everyone’s spirits were high, and some groups were even breaking out into song. Celebrating the second chance. Singing away the horrors of what they’d been through.
Finishing my plate, I excused myself and began walking through the camp. Every step I took, someone called my name, thanking me, and praising Rhyan.
But Rhyan was nowhere to be found. My stomach turned, and I began asking if anyone had seen him, but everyone’s last sighting had been different and ultimately unhelpful.
Until finally, I found Sean.
“Lyriana,” he said. “Did you eat?”
I nodded. “Where is he?”
“He’s already back in your tent,” he said. “It’s all set. We don’t have enough to go around for everyone, but I’ve made it so you two will have privacy.”
I shook my head. “No, Sean, that feels selfish.” So many didn’t have a roof over their heads for the night. “We can share.”
He grinned. “No. You couldn’t if you wanted to. Trust me. There’s not one soturion here who would dare try and stay with the two of you. Not with their new Arkturion Arkasva, and—well, we haven’t decided your title yet. Savior’s been thrown out a lot.”
“Savior?” I asked.
Sean nodded.
“So Rhyan’s in our tent now?” I asked. Why hadn’t he come to find me himself? Was he sleeping? “Is he okay?”
Sean shrugged and sighed. “I sent him there a little while ago. He needed a moment. Alone.”
Alone. “What’s wrong?” I asked.
A sad smile played upon his lips. “Nothing. Everything. It’s Rhyan, you know. He’s … he’s still taking it all pretty hard.” Sean’s face hardened, his eyes racing and back and forth across my face. “He’s going to do that. Probably for awhile. But he also needs to look strong for the others.”
“He is strong,” I said, my voice shaking.
“He is, Lyriana. Very. But he’s also hurting. He needs to be strong for them, for everyone here. My job though, is going to be making sure he feels it.” He touched my arm. “I imagine yours, too.”
“More than you know. Now tell me. Which tent?”
Sean shook his head. “He wanted to be alone.”
“Which tent?” I asked again, my voice hardening. “Sean, he’s been alone. His time is up. I’m going to go see him. Now. So just tell me.” I knew Rhyan needed his space at times, but I also knew he had a habit of running away, and isolating himself when the guilt and shame overwhelmed him.
Sean’s eyebrows drew together, but he pointed to the center of the camp. A modest sized tent, one of the smaller ones, which was fitting, as it was only for two of us. But someone had placed a flag on top. The sigil of Ka Hart.
“Just be patient with him. As long as I’ve known him, he’s always had to figure things out on his own.”
“He can figure out all he wants to. But he’s not going to be alone.”
Sean’s eyes crinkled. “I thought you’d say that. And I’m glad. Go on.”
“We have sentries stationed overnight?” I asked.
“The schedule’s all set, our borders protected, and scouts are monitoring the perimeter. You can rest. You should rest. You both deserve it.” He turned and pointed to the other end of camp. “I’ll be over there for the night shift. If you need me, you know where to find me.”
“Thank you.”
