Lily reaches for my hand and holds it tight, while Sparrow puts a gingerbread croissant on a plate and slides it toward me. I nod my thanks and start to pick at it.
“He did tell me he wants to see me leading up to Christmas, but that’s where it’s probably going to end if he follows through on his plans to move away. And I know he’s holding back. There’s this sense of relearning each other while learning about each other for the first time.” I’m trying to believe that, because of Jace’s genuineness and goodness, there’s a chance for us. But I’m also having to push myself to believe in possibilities again at all.
Sparrow’s eyes widen as Rafe tilts his head. “Poetic, that,” he says with an appreciative nod.
Graham speaks for the first time. “I can tell you from experience that a broken heart changes us—or, at the very least, makes us feel like we can’t be the best version of ourselves.” He’s sitting, shoulders back, with his arm around Lily’s waist. His wife leans into him, putting her forehead against his face.
“I love you,” she says with conviction. When she pulls back to look at him, a smile passes between the two of them.
“Ivy, you must know Jace is still interested in you.” Rafe is now eating a maple croissant, waving it in the air in between bites. “He kept looking at you at the parade.”
“And during the town meeting last week,” Sparrow adds.
“And near the studio. The other day, I saw him hovering just outside the door, looking as if he was debating going in or not,” Graham interjects, his law skills and deductive reasoning rising to the surface.
“Well, his daughter is my student.” The words are true, but I’m hoping there’s more to it all.
“Oh, please, his daughter may be your student, but that man looks like he’d punch through walls for a real shot with you.” Lily smirks, rubbing a hand over her round stomach. Laughter fills the bakery. “Did you ever think that maybe you’re so worried about being enough to convince Jace to stay that you’re not seeing he’s worried that he’s not enough for you at all?”
“She’s not wrong. And, believe me, I know what it’s like to feel like your skin is stretched too tight because of how much you want to hold someone and won’t let yourself have what you most desire for reasons you don’t even understand.” This comes from Rafe, who is ever the songwriter. I can imagine his words will work their way into a lyric someday soon, if not for himself, then for the artists he works with these days.
“I’m not saying no to him, believe me,” I protest. “When we first met, it felt like time and space . . . stopped. But then he left my life, through no fault of his own—though I didn’t know that! So, I was mad and hurt, of course.” I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself. “He’s different these days. Life has altered him. I know it’s not realistic to hold someone to a past version of themselves, and maybe we just need time to learn the current versions of ourselves. But Jace is supposed to leave . . . before Christmas!Selfishly, I want him to choose to be here. Still, I can honestly say that no matter what happens, I just want him to be happy.”
My rant ends breathlessly, and my friends murmur words of comfort and advice. As I finish speaking, the clock on the wall with a sparrow hovering over one of the hands strikes three o’clock. As if on cue, the door to the café swings open.
Jace enters with Emmy by his side, her nose pink and her cheeks flushed.
“Miss Ivy!” Emmy exclaims.
Instantly, I have the urge to wrap her in my arms, but when my gaze moves up to Jace, my thoughts halt. He’s looking at mewith such intensity and appreciation that I have to grab onto the edge of the counter to keep my balance. We were going to see each other at my studio during rehearsals tomorrow, so this is a welcome bonus.
When Graham is the first to stand and extend a hand, Jace breaks eye contact with me and shakes his hand. Rafe is the next to move around the counter, and Sparrow springs into action, putting macarons and madeleines on a plate.
Lily looks at me with a smirk. “Take it from me, Ives,” she whispers, rubbing her stomach as she watches the scene unfold.
Already, Emmy has crumbs across her face as she reaches up to the counter again, Sparrow’s hands extending toward her with another madeleine.
Lily continues in a low tone. “Don’t believe the lie that love is too good for you or for Jace. We’re all worthy of true love, and the right one will stay. He’ll hold you and won’t let you go.” A tear slips across her cheek, and she wipes it away with the back of her hand. “I blame this little cruffin for these hormones.” She points to her stomach.
I hug her from the side, drawing her as close as possible. “Thank you for that.”
Lily rolls her eyes, wiping another tear as she watches Graham with Emmy. The little girl is now in his arms as she feeds him a macaron.
I laugh and stand. “Such a softie,” I whisper in her ear before walking to Jace. He’s watching my friends with a look of curious hesitation.
“Are you okay?” I ask, his demeanor not boding well for my heart.
“I don’t know if I’m ready, Ivy.”
The wariness in his gaze lands like a weight in my gut. He used my first name, which is not a good sign. “You don’t know if you’re ready for what?” I lower my voice. “For us?”
He sighs. “I promise I’m not being double-minded. I want to try with you. That hasn’t changed. It’s actually never changed.” Jace looks from one happy couple to the other. “But as much as I like what I know of your friends, I’m not like them. It’s evident how freely they give of their love, and . . .” His sigh makes me ache. “I just keep thinking of what I’ve lost instead of what I can give you.”
“Jace, I don’t want you to be like them,” I whisper.
He swallows, tracking Emmy. His daughter is now perched on the counter, held in place by Sparrow. They’re both clapping as Rafe sings a Christmas carol in front of them. He’s holding his guitar that just somehow mysteriously appeared in his hands.
“What happened, Jace?” I turn back to him. “What’s the lie you can’t let go of?”
