I waved goodbye to Saint Nick and began to formulate my plan. I left the store and called Haley’s office line. If she didn’t answer, I’d call Miley. That Super Creepy Ninja Duchess Assassin adored me and how I made her cousin smile.
Haley answered, “Hello, my friend Dylan.” I exclaimed jubilantly, “We have a party EMERGENCY!” Haley chuckled, “How fucking fun. I adore those.” I said, “You may not know, but I used to host a Friends Christmas Party around these here parts.”
Haley replied, “I thought it was a party emergency. It’s fucking July and Christmas is in December.” I groaned, “I know. I’m such a slacker, the invitations must go out POST HASTE! I always got on SGAP’s calendar so early. All so he could say he had to come to my party to avoid other commitments.”
I sighed, “That was even before he was the Alpha. Once he became the youngest Alpha, not forced to take over in forever, I would send him the invitation in April. Good old Saint Nick reminded me of the joy my party used to bring.”
Haley asked, “Saint fucking Nick? Do you mean the man you have come to the party playing Santa?” I answered, “Yes, that adorable man. One day I’ll get SGAP to do that on Christmas day.” Haley gasped, “That would be so fucking adorable!” Fang snickered in my head because now I knew it would happen one day. On said day, I’d be ready with a camera.
I agreed, “It really would. The point is, I need to plan my glorious return for my Friends Christmas Party. It must be with a BANG! I have to make up for all those Christmas’s without Dylanmas. Because that’s what I called the parties.”
Haley asked, “When did you stop throwing them?” Fang whined in my head. I replied, “Who could keep track of such a thing?” Haley’s silence spoke volumes. A pop sounded beside me, and she popped me back to her office.
I grinned, “YAY! You are free. I was going to ask.” Haley agreed, “I am free, but you can’t out evade me. When did you stop hosting your Friends Christmas Party?” I muttered, “Maybe it was cancelled in my mind after Lacy ran away. Who could blame me? SGAP even tried to get me to have it, but there was no joy in Christmas without Lacy.”
Haley sat back surmising, “That’s why it was such a fucking big deal to you about opening the presents on Christmas. The joy was put back in the holiday for you because Lacy was home and yours. Not just because you love the damn holiday and opening presents.”
I tapped my nose, “You are so smart. SGAP tried to send an invitation for party, but everyone knew it wasn’t mine. I said I wasn’t having it, and he sent it in October. Which is so late for Dylanmas, but it proved his deep love for me.”
Haley agreed, “You’re family to Eric and you both fucking know that. Though, that is adorable. He’s not the best at putting together an invitation.” I snickered and pulled out my phone. I told her, “It’s in a special folder that I remind him about every so often.”
I showed her the invitation. Haley actually put a hand over her mouth and was clearly trying not to laugh. Fang offered, “Thor did try.” Try being the operative word. I finally found something the man was bad at. I assured her, “You can laugh, it’s hilarious. SGAP did try though and for that we give him credit. I got a graphic designer on his payroll STAT! It was a service for all really.” Haley busted up laughing.
Fang purred, “We are going to have the best Christmas Party. It will be a glorious return!” It definitely would be. Haley replied, “It’s so damn sweet that Eric tried though. I’m honestly shocked to my actual core you’ve never mentioned this before now.”
I admitted, “I keep it in my pocket for rainy days.” Haley replied, “It’s rained a shit ton since I got here, but it’s not today.So, you did not save it for a rainy day.” I grinned, “Right you are. The point is, we have an EPIC party to plan.”
“It has to be brand new and massive for my glorious return. No Grinch’s can come, so that excludes Mommy Queenie Meanie. SGAP is allowed because his heart grew to its normal size via your entrance in his life.”
Fang snickered, “Mommy Queenie Meanie never came.” I knew that, but this year I wasn’t inviting her. Fang snorted, “You never invited her.” I retorted, “I cordially uninvited her every year, but this year I want her to be forgotten entirely.”
That woman told Travis he was wrong about Jackie, and she must SUFFER for that decision! Fang agreed, “She should and we do bring that up every so often.” Exactly. Cassandra expected to be uninvited to my party, not forgotten entirely.
Haley replied, “It’s your damn party. I’m not going to oversee the guest list.” I winked, “Nathan always comes. So, you’ll have to make sure he comes even when Mommy Queenie Meanie doesn’t. She’ll try to come or say he can’t go.” I’d have security ready to bounce her to the MOON! Hey, King Fire Hands might be able to make that actually happen. Fang snorted.
Haley laughed, “So, you want her to be busy the day of the party that we are planning? Fucking done.” I squealed, “It’s going to be the best Dylanmas. I need grandeur. Which means we have to have all your best ideas. Cancel your day!”
Haley grinned and called Miley. Her cousin answered, “Hey, bitch.” Fang snickered, “I hope Cassandra hears them talk on the phone this way.” Yeah, I did too. Now, I needed secret cameras to follow Mommy Queenie Meanie around to put together a montage of her eye twitching for a memo.
Fang agreed, “That’s definitely a good side project. We could send it to her and tell her we are just trying to help her control her reaction. Like she did with Thor, Steele, Olaf, and Kobe.” I filed that away mentally, because it definitely needed to happen.It’s not like Mommy Queenie Meanie would tell anyone about it. She’d be too embarrassed.
Haley told Miley, “I need you to cancel my whole ass day because an ally is in crisis.” Fang demanded, “FIND OUT HOW SHE KNOWS THESE RULES!” Yeah, I’d asked Marissa Kyle if she was the secret fount of information for Haley, but she was not. It hurt my brain not to have the answer as to how Haley was doing this.
Fang grumbled, “The Beta’s here have an idea.” I knew they did, but they weren’t sharing. Which was directly in violation of the Beta code. Sharing is caring. They paled when these moments happened of Haley knowing pack details and exchanged glances.
So, they either knew, or they were pretty certain they were right. No amount of bribing got them to tell me though. Here I was about to plan Dylanmas for them too. The world didn’t deserve me. Fang agreed, “That’s true.”
The thing was, Luna’s were often taught the rules of the pack as they were handed down from the older generation to the new Luna’s. Particularly if they were new to pack life. I knew for a fact Cassandra had never, even once, mentioned pack traditions to Haley.
I also knew Debbie was the first one to mention the dress tradition to Haley. Maybe because SOMEONE told her to do so. Fang snorted, “We told her to bring it up in a sly way.” Yeah, and boy had Debbie delivered. It confirmed I had been right to give Haley the head’s up.
I couldn’t have my Super Special Fun Sized Fairy Ninja Goddess cut down by Mommy Queenie Meanie. That was not any fun, and I happened to prefer the delightful, fun loving woman in front of me. I would even think that if she hadn’t been the AMAZING person who got SGAP to wear pink. That would have cemented me to her side, but she was the best.
I had to protect her and SGAP from Mommy Queenie Meanie. Haley was now aware of the snake in the grass. I was fairly certain she did something Fairy to find the long lost, treasured book of pack traditions. Maybe there was a charm to repair it, since the rumor was it was burned in a fire.
Honestly, from the stories I’d heard I wouldn’t put that past Nathan’s parents to have set the dang thing on fire. Fang growled, “They were not what an Alpha and Luna should’ve been.” No, and they’d had every opportunity to be.
Miley replied, “Will do, Hales. You give me such fun things to do. I can’t WAIT to tell those bitches you can’t meet with them and then reschedule to the back of the line. All because allies in crisis means they don’t get priority to reschedule if I don’t like them. Guess what? I really fucking hate them.”
