He had got on the train.
And it was my fault.
Bile rose in my throat and I swallowed it down. I needed to stay strong, help Amanda get through this. I needed to step up and help her get hold of her husband. My brother.
‘I’m coming over,’ I said.
I was on her doorstep within minutes, and she fell into my arms. When she looked up at me her face was red and blotchy, her eyes puffy. ‘I don’t want the girls to know there’s anything wrong,’ she whispered, glancing behind her.
‘Let’s get inside, I’ll sort them out,’ I said, leading her back in. Always so capable, she seemed frail now, as though the life had been sucked from her. I sat her down at the kitchen table and poured her a glass of water.
‘Drink this. I’ll go and see to the girls.’
I ran up the stairs and knocked on Imogen’s door first, not wanting to just walk in on her now she was fifteen. She didn’t answer so I pushed the door slightly open and peered round. She was sitting on her bed, headphones in, listening to music on her MP3 player. She looked up and smiled when she saw me.
‘Hi, Uncle Nick,’ she said, pulling her headphones off. ‘I didn’t know you were coming round today.’
‘I wasn’t. I just came to ask your mum something.’
‘Ah right.’ Thank goodness for uncurious teenagers.
‘Anyway, get back to your music, I just wanted to say hi,’ I said, backing out of the door.
‘See you later,’ she said, and I closed the door behind me. At least she was fine.
Ella’s door was slightly open and I could hear pop music, tinny, as though it was being played through a computer. I tapped a couple of times and stepped inside. Ella was standing in front of the mirror practising a dance move and her face lit up when she saw me, and she threw her arms around me.
‘Hey you,’ I said, kissing the top of her head.
‘I’m just practising for the show next week,’ she said, pulling away from me. She loved dancing and I’d been to see her countless times in shows over the years. I felt guilty that I’d been so self-absorbed that I hadn’t known she had one coming up.
‘Ah right. Am I coming to see it?’ I said.
She shrugged. ‘Dad didn’t know, but I think he got you a ticket.’
‘Oh good, I’ll definitely come then,’ I said.
‘Do you want to see my routine?’
‘Tell you what, let’s keep it as a surprise for the show, shall we?’ I said.
‘Yeah, okay.’ She turned away and I took it as my cue to leave.
‘I’ll see you in a bit then.’
‘Bye, Uncle Nick.’
As I walked down the stairs I could hear Amanda’s voice and I hurried back to the kitchen with my heart in my throat to find her ending a call. The look on her face sent a chill down my spine.
‘Who was that?’ I said, collapsing into a chair opposite her.
‘The police,’ she said. ‘They’ve found Andy’s phone.’
I stared at her for a minute, trying to process it. ‘You mean…?’
‘They think he might still be in the train.’
‘Alive?’
