Now, back at home, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I couldn’t get the image of Emma on top of me out of my mind, of her body wrapped round mine. I still tingled from what had happened between us, and I felt as though I was floating above my whole body. We hadn’t even known it was possible, and yet in the moment it had felt like the most natural and incredible thing in the world.
But, at the same time, there was a heaviness inside me, pressing down somewhere deep in my belly. Because I couldn’t stop thinking about what Emma said, all those weeks ago, about coming to find me in 2019.
If I asked her to look for me at least I’d have the hope that one day, in twenty years’ time, we could be together. Because if she didn’t, my life would feel empty without her in it forever.
Except the reason I’d begged her not to still stood: if she found out that something terrible had happened to me betweennow and then – if she found out I was ill, or worse – I didn’t know how I’d be able to carry on living my life.
15
EMMA
When Rachel opened the door, I was completely drenched.
‘What the hell happened to you?’ she said, bundling me inside. I stood dripping all over her beautiful tiled hallway while she ran to find a towel.
‘Here,’ she said.
I rubbed it over my hair and down my arms, then slipped my soaking wet trainers off.
‘Thanks,’ I said.
She stood watching me, not making a move.
‘Are you going to tell me what’s happened or should I try and guess?’ she said.
‘Can we go inside?’
A frown flitted across her forehead but then she nodded and motioned for me to follow her into the kitchen.
‘Iain’s taken the kids to soft play so we’ve got the place to ourselves.’ I climbed onto a bar stool and waited as Rachel flicked the kettle on and found some mugs. Then she turned round and folded her arms across her chest. ‘So come on, out with it. Are you finally going to spill the details about your date?’
Her question took me by surprise. In the excitement of everything that had happened with Nick, I’d completely forgotten about the date with Aaron. Rachel had messaged me for details a couple of times, but I hadn’t replied yet, unsure what to tell her. Now, the game was up.
‘No,’ I said, leaning against the counter. My heart thumped wildly in my chest and I stared down at my hands clenched in front of me. ‘It’s about Nick.’
‘Nick? But I thought…’ She let out a sigh of frustration and I looked up at her.
‘That we’d agreed to date other people?’
‘Exactly.’ She peered at me. ‘Did you even go on the date with Aaron?’
‘I did. And it was fine. He was lovely.’
‘So what’s happened?’
‘I slept with Nick.’
The silence that filled the room was deafening. The kettle reached its crescendo and clicked off, and the rain pounded against the window. Rachel pulled out a stool and sat down.
‘I’m sorry, what? When?’
‘Last night. And it was the most amazing thing that’s ever happened to me,’ I said, my voice cracking.
‘So how…’ She rubbed her hand over her face and shook her head. ‘How is that even possible?’
‘I honestly have no idea.’
She stared at me, then a grinned spread across her face. ‘Oh myGod.’
