‘Uncle Nick!’ My youngest niece Ella raced to my side and I lifted her onto my lap where she beamed up at me.
‘Hello, gorgeous girl,’ I said, kissing the top of her head. She smelt of lemon shampoo, a comforting scent I could have breathed in all day. She wriggled around on my lap and peered up at me through her too-long fringe.
‘The tooth fairy’s coming tonight,’ she said, giving me a gappy grin.
‘No way, look at you,’ I said.
She stuck her tongue through the space where her tooth had been and crossed her eyes.
‘I have to wrap my tooth in a tissue and then the tooth fairy will leave me some money.’
‘And how much does the tooth fairy bring these days?’
‘Ten pounds,’ she said.
I raised my eyebrows and glanced at Andy.
‘Er, I don’t think that’s quite right, is it, Els?’ he said.
She looked at him. ‘That’s what Daisy in my class got.’
‘I don’t think she did,’ Andy said. ‘I think the tooth fairy gives the same to everyone, and that’s fifty pence.’
‘But shedidget that much, she told me,’ Ella said, crossing her arms. She looked so like her dad when she did that I wanted to laugh out loud.
‘I suspect Daisy is telling porky-pies,’ Andy said, standing and holding out his hand. ‘Now come on, let’s get you to bed otherwise the tooth fairy won’t come at all.’
‘But I want to stay with Uncle Nick a bit longer.’
‘Not tonight, sweetheart. Come on.’
Ella let out a long huff and reluctantly slid off my knee onto the floor. Her pink pyjama legs had ridden up to her knees and her dressing gown hung off one shoulder.
‘Night, Elly-Welly,’ I said as she took Andy’s hand.
‘Night, Uncle Nick-Nick,’ she said.
I heard them run up the stairs. I could hear Ella’s big sister Imogen arguing about something, and I took a gulp of tea and smiled sadly. Andy was my big brother by four minutes, but he’d always been my protector, and it had always felt like the age gap was much bigger than that. His family were so precious to me, and I loved spending time with them all.
But sometimes, being with them made my heart hurt too. Because it reminded me of everything that Dawn and I hadn’t been able to have.
Everything I’d lost.
‘Sorry about that, ’Manda’s got them all under control now,’ Andy said, sitting back at the table a few minutes later.
‘She’s a trooper that one.’
‘She is.’ He shook his head. ‘Honestly, ten quid. Does she think we were born yesterday?’
‘You can’t blame a kid for trying.’
He grinned. ‘That’s true. Shows entrepreneurial spirit, I suppose.’ He stood again. ‘Do you want a beer?’
‘Go on then.’
He pulled a couple of cans from the fridge, handed me one, then sat down again. It was dark outside and the kitchen light shone above our heads like we were on stage.
‘You’re getting thin on top you know,’ I said, clicking my can open.
