‘Aunty Emma,’ he said, his words blurry with sleep.
‘Hey, sweetie,’ I whispered. ‘I’ve just come to kiss you goodnight.’
He smiled, but didn’t reply, so I leaned over and planted a gentle kiss on his warm forehead, then left him in his dream world. When I got to Harry’s room, it was a different story. He was wide awake and sitting on top of his duvet, and when I walked in he said, ‘Can you read me this?’ He had a Peppa Pig picture book in his hand and a smile so wide I couldn’t resist. So, although, I desperately wanted to get back downstairs to tell Rachel everything that had happened today, I sat and read hisbook to him, laughing when he corrected me, and loving the feeling of his hot little body pressed against me. I loved these boys with every bone of my body, and spending time with them had helped with the sadness I felt about not having children of my own. They’d helped mend my broken heart and I’d never forget it.
By the time the story was finished, Harry was half asleep, so I tucked him in, kissed him softly and crept out of the room.
Downstairs, Rachel was sitting at the kitchen island, a glass of wine waiting for me.
‘They’re out for the count,’ I said, pulling myself onto the stool.
‘You’re so good at that,’ she said. ‘They always try it on for me. Maybe I should hire you as a sleep nanny every night.’
‘I’d be happy to be here every night,’ I said. ‘I adore them.’
‘I know you do,’ she said, pressing her hand against mine. She knew how much I’d wanted a baby of my own. That was another one of the reasons it had been so utterly devastating when Greg had died – because we’d thought we were on the cusp of a great new adventure, but instead our chances of having a baby had died with him as well.
She pulled her hand away and slid my wine towards me. As I put the glass to my lips, she said: ‘So, what’s happened?’
I let the cold liquid sit in my mouth for a moment before swallowing. I’d thought about how to tell Rachel about the last few hours all the way here, but now the moment had come, I wasn’t sure where to start.
‘We kissed,’ I said, in the end.
Rachel’s eyes widened. ‘Oh myGod!’she said. ‘This is big news!’ She gasped. ‘Oh, but… but he’s…’
I nodded. ‘I know. It’s not ideal, what with him not actually existing.’
‘Except he might.’
I nodded in agreement. ‘He might.’
Rachel glared at me, a look I couldn’t quite decipher.
‘What?’ I said. ‘Why are you giving me that look?’
‘There’s something else isn’t there?’
I sighed and twirled my wine glass round on the worktop, watching the liquid slosh up and down the sides. ‘Sort of. I…’ I took a gulp of wine and met her eye. ‘We tried something. A sort of experiment.’
Rachel frowned. ‘What sort of experiment?’
‘You know we live in the same house, right? I mean, I live in the house Nick used to live in.’
‘Of course.’
‘Well, Nick did some research about time slips and it’s… well, it’s complicated. Obviously. But we thought there might be a way we could override linear time and be together, in the house.’
‘Riiiiight?’ She sounded confused. ‘So what did you do, some sort of weird ritual in the garden or something? Ooh, or did you drive your car really fast during a lightning storm like Marty McFly?’
I shook my head. ‘If only it were that easy,’ I said, smiling. ‘No, sadly it wasn’t quite as exciting asBack to the Future. Nick explained that scientists reckon wormholes work by sort of bending time back on itself. And the only other way of doing that that we could see – apart from travelling faster than the speed of light – was to try and force the time portal into existence in the house by being in exactly the same positions as each other at exactly the same time.’
Rachel let out a long breath of air. ‘And I guess from your face that it didn’t work?’
I shook my head sadly. ‘No.’
She let out a long breath, her cheeks puffing up with the effort. ‘I’m so sorry, darling. But did you really expect it to?’ Her voice was gentle but I bristled at her words anyway, defensive.
I sniffed. ‘I hoped I might at least feel something. You know, a presence, a change in the air or something. But there was nothing.’
