‘Thank you love,’ Dad said.
I stepped into the hall and headed to the front door again. Outside, the wind had picked up and it pummelled me as I walked towards the gardens. It felt cleansing after the stuffiness of Mum’s room and I breathed in the freezing January air. As I walked along, hands stuffed into the pockets of my huge winter coat, I let my mind chew over all the things I’d learned over the last few days, weeks. I thought about Dad, and everything he’d told me. He had known about Johnny. Not only that but he’d always known that Mum had once loved Johnny more than she’d loved him. And yet he’d given her the chance to love him anyway, along with a good life. The best life.
While mine and Greg’s situation wasn’t quite the same, there were striking similarities. Two men – one a good man who I loved, who I had history with, who loved me unconditionally. The other a disruptive spectre from my past who seemed to have a hold on me in a way I couldn’t explain.
Would Mum have been happier if she’d have followed her heart and married Johnny, or did Dad save her from that life? Was Dad right? Would Mum have left him one day anyway?
And where did that leave me and Greg?
Because there was one important difference between our two stories: Johnny had never come back.
But Adam had.
It was almost dark by the time we set off for home, and Dad seemed tired as he sat in the passenger seat.
‘You can have a snooze if you like,’ I said.
‘No, it’s all right love.’ He turned his head to face me and I saw a glimmer of a smile on his lips. ‘Thank you for taking me to see your mum today. It’s been too long.’
‘It’s fine Dad. I was happy to.’ I stopped. ‘She seemed happy to see you too.’
‘She did, didn’t she?’
‘And no more talk of Johnny.’
‘No. It seems she’s forgotten all about him again.’
I nodded and concentrated on looking out for approaching headlights on the narrow lane. A headache was forming behind my eyes and I rubbed them, my vision blurred when I looked back at the road.
‘Was there another reason you wanted to know about Johnny?’ Dad’s voice in the darkening car made me jump.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Reeny, I know you and Greg are having problems.’ Did he? How? I never talked to my father about anything like that. As if he’d read my mind he said: ‘It’s perfectly obvious when you’re together. And despite what you think, I do take notice of you.’ He smiled. ‘I wonder whether something has happened to make you so curious.’
How much should I tell him? On the one hand, it would be good to have someone close to talk to. But on the other hand, I didn’t know whether voicing my worries would only make them more real.
‘Adam’s back in town,’ I said, deciding to take the plunge.
He hesitated a moment as if trying to place the name.
‘Ah, I see,’ he said, realisation dawning. ‘And you think this could be your second chance, do you? The one you threw away, like Mum did with Johnny?’
I was surprised at his astuteness. ‘I honestly don’t know Dad. I just – Mum said something the other day about Adam, told me I shouldn’t settle for second best.’
‘The way she had you mean?’
I shook my head. ‘She didn’t say that. It’s just – she thought Adam was still my boyfriend and she told me not to listen to anyone else and to follow my heart.’
I wondered whether I’d gone too far. But then Dad shook his head and turned to face me.
‘You know I was never keen on Adam, don’t you?’
I nodded, keeping my eyes on the road.
‘He was everything I didn’t want for my little girl, at the time. And when you met Greg I was so pleased. He’s the sort of man most men would want their daughter to marry.’ He sighed. ‘But now, looking back, I’m not so sure I was right. I’ve often wondered whether your mother would have been better off if she’d have married Johnny after all.’ He raised his hand to stop me when I started to object. ‘Hear me out. Of course I’m glad she chose me. But you’re my daughter, and I only want what’s best for you. I want you to be happy.’
‘But that’s just it. I don’t know what will make me happy.’
