She stretches her legs out in front of her. I'm not sure she's going to say anything, after I've waited for a few minutes, but then her voice breaks through the dim noise of the cracking logs and the buzzing of the fridge. "I want to live, to learn to love myself, and to do it without the pressure of what others think I should be doing, or who I should be."
My feet are propped up on an ottoman, I jerk them down to the ground, the noise reverberating in the room. "So you're saying you want to stay?"
The nod she gives me isn't as full of confidence as I would like, but she's had a hard day. "Yes, I'd like to stay."
"Okay, so first things first. You should know what that means. We're pretty isolated out here, as you can tell since you drove. If you need something from town, we can get it, but it will take up to two weeks. If at any time you want to go home, I can make that happen, but it will take time, depending on what's happening with the weather. If you're hurt out here? I know first aid, but I'm not a doctor. This isn't going to be some sort of vacation." I stop for a second, letting the words sink in. "You'll need to help me work. It's not like a full working ranch, but I have animals to take care of, and there are situations where I'll be called out as a law enforcement officer."
She nods, a faraway look in her eyes as she stares at the flames licking the logs.
"If you don't want to do this, that's fine, too. I just need to know what you want to do." I might be asking too much of her right now, and I realize that too late. "Shit Paisley, you don't have to make the decision now either. If you wanna sleep on it, you can."
"Where will I sleep?" She asks quickly.
"There are two bedrooms. The second one is small, and if you'd prefer mine, you can have it. To me, it's a place to lay my head at night."
"What about clothes? I only have what I'm wearing." She lifts a shoulder. "Not like I planned on coming back after what I was planning on doing."
This is the part I hate, people asking questions about the life I live. The one I choose to lead out here. There are eventually questions, and I'm never prepared to answer them. "I have a wardrobe that looks like it'll fit you. It's in the second bedroom. Feel free to grab what you want. All the clothes are clean. If we need something, I can get it. It'll just take time."
She nods. "Then I'd love to stay here."
Rolling my lips together, I give her a small smile. "Maybe this place can save you the way it saved me."
"Maybe it can," she whispers.
And in this moment, I realize we're more alike than either of us think.
Five
Paisley
Paisley
The last three months I haven't felt like I've been home. Even when I'm laying in my own bed, under the roof I pay for, it doesn't feel like home. Nothing has since that horrible night. The one that changed everything.
But I don't want to think about that right now. I'm safe, alive, and in comfortable clothes. Which is surprising. Chase didn't tell me where the clothes came from, but he was right. They fit, and they're clean.
Glancing around the room, I can't help but wonder who was in it before me. I think definitely a girl or woman. It's decorated in a more feminine way than the rest of the house, but there aren't any pictures hanging up, or knickknacks on the bedside table.
When Chase brought me in here, he was definitely nervous.
"There's clothes in the dresser, and in the closet. I washed the sheets and blanket last week," he clears his throat. "I do it just in case someone has to stay here. So everything you need should be in there. Even feminine products if you need them."
I nod, licking my suddenly dry lips. "You're sure I'm not intruding?"
"I'm sure. This room is for whoever needs it. Kind of like how you don't want to get into what made you attempt to end your life, I don't want to get into what this room is."
I respect that. I have to. He's not pressured me, and if we're going to be stuck out here together that respect is going to mean everything. "Okay then, thank you."
"I'm happy to help."
The sounds are different there than they were in my apartment. It's noticeably quieter here, but I'm not nearly as lonely as I'd been there. The loneliness had been overwhelming at night. Absolutely debilitating; one of the reasons I sat in my car with a gun today. No one had understood, though. I'd tried desperately to talk to others about it, but my feelings were brushed off. I'd never felt so alone in my life, and it had come to a head.
On the bedside table, my phone buzzes. It's surprising, since service out here has been spotty. It's come through once or twice, but now a ton of messages are causing it to go off. The storm must be over. Grabbing it, I take a look.
Bridget: Hey girl! I haven't seen you come out of your apartment today. Are you okay?
My next door neighbor, she's one of the only people who checks on me. Has been since I moved in.
