She turned it over to see Cinnia was calling. A pained noise escaped her.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she said heavily. “Just my sister. She tried me twice yesterday and I ignored her because…” The pregnancy news had consumed her. “She wants my ETA, but…” She looked to the gifts he’d wrapped and stacked so neatly. “What do I do about Christmas?”
“Spend it with your family.” His face smoothed into those unreadable lines that she found so frustrating. “I know you’ll be safe there. I plan to work anyway.”
“But…” She couldn’t leave the father of her baby alone on Christmas mere days after they learned she was pregnant. What if something happened and she went into hospital? She would want him with her.
If she was only going to visit Cinnia, she might have confided her happy news, but everyone would be there and it was too soon to tell the world. The magnitude of holding on to her secret while fighting her anxiety over the holiday began to balloon in her mind. Tears welled in her eyes.
“Would you come?” she asked over the insistent buzz of her phone. “If I ask her…?”
Cortisol poured through her bloodstream as she recalled what had happened the last time she brought someone home for Christmas. Why was this so messy andhard?
Joaquin wouldn’t betray her the way Gilbert had. Would he?
“If you want me to be there, yes.” His dark eyes were fathomless. Some emotion flickered across his expression too quickly for her to interpret it. Wariness? Something warmer?
Relief eased the pressure in her chest. She pressed the quivering sensation from her lips and answered the video call, propping the phone against the bottom of her lamp so she was in the frame and Joaquin remained off camera.
“Hi, what’s up?” she asked.
“Ramon said he offered to fly you down with him and you said no.” Cinnia had her blond hair pulled back with a headband and was working moisturizer into her clean face. She was fourteen years older than Siobhan, but looked closer to thirty than forty. “Donottell me you’re backing out.”
“No. Work’s been busy. They can’t spare me.” That wasn’t entirely true if she was taking a few days of medical leave, but Cinnia didn’t need to know about that. “I was planning to take the train Saturday—”
Joaquin shook his head.
“Sunday?” she asked.
“Is someone there with you?” Her sister’s tone grew pointed and she stared hard through the screen. “On a workday? This early in the morning?”
“I was about to tell you,” Siobhan grumbled. “I’m seeing someone. Ramon didn’t say anything?”
“Should he have? Is it serious? Do you want to bring him to Christmas?”
“Just like that?” Despite her history? “You don’t even know who he is.”
“Of course, I do.” Cinnia began brushing out her hair. “Ramon told Henri he thought something was going on between you. Henri told me. Why do you think I’m calling? Henri said he doesn’t see any issue in having Joaquin join us so why don’t you put me on to him and I’ll invite him.”
With a roll of her eyes, Siobhan handed the phone to Joaquin.
Chapter Twelve
Joaquin discovered theonly reason he had tolerated going into LVG was the opportunity to see Siobhan. Now that she was taking the week off for doctor visits and rest, being here felt more oppressive than ever.
Sleeplessness had something to do with his poor mood. And worry. Morning sickness had arrived the day she moved in and was hitting her at all hours. She had tried to sleep in the guest room, but he’d persuaded her to sleep with him so he could help her in the night if she needed it, fetching ice water and ginger tea and wringing out damp facecloths.
He hated seeing her miserable, and lying beside her while she slept was a delightful form of torture. He listened to her breathe, not touching her, afraid to move lest he wake her. Feeling her so close couldn’t help but turn his mind to intimate acts, but he savored that time, too, feeling like an anchor coming to rest on the sea floor.I’m not alone anymore.
At the same time, he ached.Ached.
Trying to distract himself by thinking of what sort of father he’d make wasn’t effective. It was too puzzling. And big. He kept trying to imagine knowing what to do with a crying baby, what to say as the baby grew old enough to talk. He’d never even held his brother’s children, certain he’d break them. How would he become what his own child needed him to be?
When he finally did drift off, dark scenes from his past arrived. They always had Siobhan in them. His father wouldturn on her and Joaquin would be paralyzed, held back from protecting her. It was suffocating. Blood chilling.
Thankfully, today was his last in his father’s office until the New Year. He left midmorning to meet Siobhan at the clinic where she was having her first scan, to confirm her due date. She had lined up a specialist in Barcelona where they would station themselves through her pregnancy, but they both wanted the peace of mind that this initial scan would hopefully provide.
