Ethan
It looks like guilt is my destiny. First my guilt over how I let Jess down. Then the guilt of my feelings for Sadie. Now it’s the guilt of not protecting Sadie. Of putting her in a position where she could be hurt. It’s irrelevant that I kept quiet at her request. Respecting her wishes. I should’ve known better.
Moments after Sadie disappears, Riley skulks back on deck. I didn’t hear any shouting that time, but there’s a big red handprint on Riley’s left cheek. I wish I had it in me to smile at Sadie’s bravery. But I don’t. And a burning cheek doesn’t even begin to cover what Riley deserves.
What Riley saw, and I’ll cop to it that there was something to see, was no excuse for her to go straight to Jennifer. If she’d shown either me or Sadie an ounce of respect she would’ve talked to us first. Listened to an explanation. Sure, she may still have gone to Jennifer, but at least we wouldn’t have been blindsided.
I look out over the sparkling river, the narrow strip of crops, the rocky cliffs against the painfully blue sky. The view doesn’t calm me the way it normally does.
Riley tries to slink past me to the more secluded back deck, but I stop her with a clearing of my throat.
“I hope you’re happy, Riley. You’ve potentially ruined the career of one of the most promising students I’ve ever worked with. I don’t care how much money your father donates to the university. One more foot out of line, one more complaint or whinge or grizzle, and you’ll be on the next plane home, too. My trust, once betrayed, won’t be restored. And I’d stay out of my way right now if I was you.”
I can only hope Sadie doesn’t feel the same. Because after telling her how I let Jess down, only to let her down today? I couldn’t blame her if she never wanted to see or speak to me ever again.
By the time Ashraf brings the boys back to the boat, Sadie is packed and sitting on the grass by the gangplank with her backpack. She won’t even look at me. But I can’t take my eyes off her.
The spark of life—no, spark is too tame of a word—the flame of life that’s always burning in her has been thoroughly extinguished. Her shoulders are slumped, and her eyes are red and puffy.
The boys gather around her, and while I can’t hear what’s being said, the loud exclamations and agitated body language speak volumes. A few side eyes are directed at me, standing here on the deck alone. Eventually, there are hugs all round, making me ache to do the same.
A taxi pulls up, and Ashraf climbs in with Sadie to take her to Asyut airport. The boys wave them off sadly as the taxi disappears around a corner before stomping up the gangplank.
Riley is nowhere to be seen now, which is probably a good thing.
“What the actual fuck, Ethan?” Bart shouts. It’s not the way a Cambridge student is expected to speak to a professor, but we’re way past those kinds of niceties now.
“Where is she? Where’s Riley? I want a word with her.” Simon looks around and comes up empty.
“I can’t believe this!” Jeremy runs his hands through his hair, then props them on his hips.
“Did she seriously report you two?” Garret asks, almost a whisper, compared to the raised voices of the more confident students from Cambridge.
I hold my hands up for them to give me a moment to answer. Bart is having none of it.
“Ashraf said Riley reported you and Sadie for inappropriate behaviour. And the department head insisted you send her home. What I want to know is, why did you take that lying down?”
“I’ve tried to get in touch with Jennifer by phone and email, but she left on her annual holidays this morning Sydney time, so I had no choice. I have to follow her instructions.” I look each of them in the eye, determined to keep this dig on track. Somehow. That’s what they need from me. And what I need to do for myself. For the local workers. For the university. “For now. I’ll keep trying. Maybe if I can get in touch before Sadie gets on a plane, we can sort it out and get her back here.”
“I know Riley doesn’t like Sadie, but Jesus Christ. Who does something like this?” Simon spits.
“A jealous cow, that’s who,” Garret pipes up with uncharacteristic venom.
The boys all nod, muttering.
“I’d like to apologise to you all. This kind of drama is not what you signed up for. This is not the kind of dig I want to run.” I know I’m at least partially responsible. Maybe if Riley hadn’t seen us sneaking into my cabin, she wouldn’t have reported the other stuff. Who knows.
“I’m pissed at you, Ethan, don’t get me wrong. But not for you hooking up with Sadie. That’s between you guys. I’m pissed you weren’t able to sort this out so Sadie could stay.”
“You and me both,” I answer.
My first reaction when I read the email from Jennifer, after I had calmed down, was to ignore it. But Riley was clever. She copied Martin Collins in on the email. So there’s no containing the fallout. If Jennifer doesn’t act, Martin will use this against her. It’s one thing to blow up my own career, but to put Jennifer in a position where she looks like she’s lost control of the department isn’t fair to her.
My next brainwave was to send Riley back too. I nearly did. Because I don’t want to have to look at her smug face for the next four weeks, let alone speak to her. And I don’t give a damn about her father’s donations. I do, however, give a damn about the students at the uni. And Jennifer. All of whom benefit from Rob Hall’s donations. I don’t know the man. I have no idea if he’d take this debacle out on me or Riley. Although, I suspect both. So, with regret, I’ve allowed her to stay.
Marwa and Noha, who must surely have heard all the arguing, come out of the galley with the first platters of food for dinner, shaking their heads and tsking under their breath. Sayed pulls up the gangplank and unties the ropes, all the while giving me the evil eye. They can’t possibly be any angrier at me than I am at myself.
Riley, who has presumably been hiding in her cabin, creeps up the stairs and approaches the food table without looking at anyof us. Everything about her body language says she doesn’t want to be noticed. She should’ve thought of that sooner.
