“I know. You’re right.” I’m about to stuff another chunk of chocolate in my mouth when my handbag lets out a loud chirp. Jessie and I lock eyes.
“Don’t look.” She holds up her hand, palm out. But I can’t help myself. I’m like an addict. I lunge for my bag. Hoping it’s him, while knowing it won’t be.
I’m wrong. It’s him.
Josh: Nothing happened. I promise. Please let me explain.
At least he noticed I left the party. I should ignore it, but I can’t.
Me: Whatever. It’s none of my business what you do
Josh: I would never do that to you
Me: Do what?
Like I don’t know what.
Josh: Hook up with someone right in front of you. After everything, you know
Me: You don’t owe me anything. You can do what you want
Josh: I wish I could. But I can’t
Me: Can’t what?
Josh: Do what I want. Or who I want
Me: What does that even mean?
Josh: You know what it means. It’s not that I don’t want you. But I can’t
Jessie, who is reading over my shoulder, snorts.
“I’m calling bullshit here, Gee. Don’t let him keep stringing you along like this.”
“He thinks he’s doing the right thing.”
“How is it right to tell you no, then have sex with you, multiple times, then tell you no again? And now tell you he wants to, but he can’t?”
“It’s complicated.”
That gets another snort. “It’s really not. All he has to do is tell your parents, and Will, he has feelings for you. Pretty simple.” My phone beeps again.
Josh: Greer?
Me: I don’t know what you want me to say Josh.
Josh: Tell me you believe me. I would never hurt you like that
Me: I believe you about Lexi. It’s the rest I’m not buying.
Jessie grabs my phone, jumps up off the couch and starts typing.
(Jessie): I’m tired. I’m turning my phone off. I don’t want to talk about it any more
Jessie puts my phone on aeroplane mode and drops it onto the kitchen bench.
“Gee, he needs to grow up, grow a pair and work out what he wants. And until he does, he doesn’t deserve a nanosecond more of your time.”
