I whip around to face him, my stomach churning with anxiety. This isn’t the first time he’s told me to break things off with Ian. I figured he would eventually drop it if I didn’t.
“Lose him, Maggie. Don’t be a fucking idiot. This isn’t the time to start playing house with some muscled-up idiot.”
“No.” My voice is a strangled cry as my heart pounds harder. “You can’t make me.”
Jenson angles his head in a way that tells me we both know he absolutely can make me. And he proves it with his next statement. “Do you like being alive?”
A cold sweat dots the back of my neck, and nausea rolls my stomach.
“Because if not, we can always put you on the next flight back to Chicago.”
“How could you do that?” I can barely get the words out.
“If I feel you are being noncompliant with the rules of the program, that’s exactly what I will do. You were informed when you signed the paperwork that you were to do as you were told by any federal agent. Being in a relationship so early makes you vulnerable.”
Anger and confusion replace some of the fear. “How thehell am I supposed to know the fucking rules if no one tells me?”
Jenson’s expression bleeds condescension. “This is me telling you the rules. You cannot date anyone.” He glances at his watch, then looks back at me. “I’m assuming he’s coming over tonight? I could just stay and politely explain that I was out of town on business and am now back home.” With a condescending sigh, he gives me a smug smile. “Heartbroken to find out my girlfriend is cheating on me.”
“Please, don’t do that.” I hate how weak my plea sounds.
“End it, Maggie.” Jenson pulls open the door and slams it shut behind him.
My shaky legs give out, and I sink onto the dining room chair, my breath coming in short pants.
This can’t be happening. I’m happy. They can’t make me break up with Ian.
But they can. Jenson knows it. I know it. When you’re in Witness Protection, your US Marshal detail can make you do whatever the fuck they want, apparently.
I’m curledup on the couch, my muscles coiled tight. My eyes burn, and my heart aches. I blink a few times, trying to clear the salty film covering my eyes from how much I’ve cried over the last few hours.
I’ve spent hours trying to figure out what to say to Ian. I needed to think of something that would be awful enough to cause him to run as fast as he could away from me. The thought of hurting him makes me sick, physically and emotionally. I hate that all I can think of is the one thing I know will hurt him more than anything. Part of me wishes I had let Jenson tell Ian I’ve been cheating, but a larger partdoesn’t want Jenson anywhere near Ian. I want this final moment to be only between the two of us, even if it will destroy me.
During my wallowing, I had another thought. What if being with me puts Ian’s life in danger too? It’s bad enough that my family has had to suffer because of my choices, but now Ian. I can’t stomach the thought of one more person being impacted. As much as I hate Jenson, I’m beginning to think this is for the best.
Or at least that’s what I am telling myself to be able to do what I need to do.
I jump when a loud knock echoes through my silent apartment. I don’t immediately get up as panic hurricanes inside of me. Another knock has me squeezing my eyes shut. At least the tears from earlier seem to have been used up. I don’t know if I could do this if I were crying. I need to play the part.
The heartless bitch.
“Mags!” Ian’s deep voice calls out from the other side of the door.
A sob catches in my chest at his use of the nickname he’s started calling me. Usually, I love it more than anything, but today, it rips me apart. I sit up quickly, blowing out a harsh breath as I stand on shaky legs. My steps drag as I cross my small apartment. Another knock sounds.
“Maggie, I know you’re here. Your car is outside. You okay? I’ll break down this door if you don’t come answer.”
Taking another steadying breath, I pull the door open, clearing my face of all emotions. “Ian, sorry, I meant to call you. I need to cancel.”
Ian’s handsome face fills with confusion. His brow pinches, eyes searching mine, like he already knows I’m lying. “What do you mean you have to cancel?”
Putting on my best bitchiest tone, I reply, “I know you’re smarter than that. I think that is as clear as I can make it. I don’t want to go out with you tonight. Or really any night.”
He rears back, and my heart shatters a little more at the pain flashing through his gaze. “What the fuck?”
I shrug nonchalantly, as if I couldn’t care less about his feelings, even with every cell in my body telling me I care more than I ever thought I could. I’m nauseated from what I’m about to say.
“Look, Ian, this isn’t going to work. I’m just not interested in someone with so much baggage. It’s pretty clear to me you have some shit you need to work through, and I’m not looking to take on some emotionally broken man as a project.”
