“Smells amazing. I’ll be quick.” With a final peck, he stalks away from me.
Taking a moment to get my wits about me once again, I go back into the kitchen. It’s not long before we’re sitting beside each other and enjoying the dinner I prepared.
“Maggie, this is so fucking good,” Ian moans out before taking another huge bite of meatloaf.
“Really? You aren’t just saying that?” I’m not sure why I’m nervous about him liking my cooking, but I am. Maybe because I made this specific dinner with a story he shared in mind.
He captures my hand. “I promise. I wouldn’t lie to you. This is the best meatloaf I’ve ever had.”
My smile widens, and I ask, “You said the other day your friend’s mom used to make it?”
His face is somber with a mixture of nostalgia and sadness. “Yeah, it was one of my buddies when I was in the army. I used to go home with him during most of ourbreaks, and his mom was the best. She was always making us snacks like we were kids, and they had dinner as a family. It was great.”
“Will you tell me about your time in the army?” I ask softly. Last night, he told me a little bit about his background and how he ended up in Nashville working for Nash Security after getting discharged. He didn’t elaborate much on his time in the army, which made me even more curious. He also hasn’t talked about his family, but I don’t want to push him too much.
His shoulders bunch, and he sets his fork down. I get the sense I may have upset him, and I’m not sure if I should have asked. Insecurity grows as the silence between us mounts.
I’m about to apologize and tell him he doesn’t have to tell me anything he doesn’t feel comfortable with when he says, “For many years, I loved it. I didn’t have a great childhood. My dad left before I was born and didn’t come back around until I was in high school, which is a story for another day, and my mom worked all the time. I was always alone, and I hated it. So, when I joined the army, I was never alone. It was the best. I made friends and excelled at my job. I loved it. Until I didn’t.”
He takes a long sip of water, and I grip his forearm closest to me in silent support. Before continuing, he gives a weak smile. “I’d been in for a long time. I moved up the ranks and was a sergeant over a squad of about ten soldiers. We were sent out on high-risk critical missions in Afghanistan.”
The pain in his voice is breaking my heart. I hate that my question caused this. “Ian, I’m sorry. You don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to.”
He plucks my hand from his arm and sets it on top ofhis, intertwining our fingers. As his tortured eyes meet mine, his eyebrows press together. “No, I probably should.” He huffs out a humorless laugh. “I have actually never talked about this. To anyone.”
My heart skips a beat, and my inhale is shaky. This man trusting me with his demons makes unsteady emotions tumble through my body.
His eyes stay locked on our joined hands. “We were told we needed to go into this village. We were told there was a target who would be there alone, visiting family. When we arrived at the location where we’d start the surveillance, something felt off. I knew in my gut there was something very wrong.”
I have a feeling I know where this story is going. I’m glad he isn’t looking at me, so he misses the tear that slips from my lashes.
“But I didn’t listen to my instincts. I made a call that haunts me every fucking day.” His tormented exhale further rips my heart apart. “I lost four guys. And there hasn’t been a night that goes by that I don’t dream about them.” His eyes lift to mine. The intensity makes me unable to look away, even if I wanted to. “Until I met you. You seem to have taken their place. In the best way possible.”
A choked cry leaves my throat, not caring that he sees more tears flooding down my face. I lean over and place my hands on each of his cheeks. “Thank you for sharing. And I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I know this is easier said than done, but I wish you wouldn’t blame yourself.”
He doesn’t respond. Instead, he takes my lips in a deep, emotion-fueled kiss. When the kiss ends, I wipe my tears off Ian’s cheeks from where they transferred to his skin during our kiss, before doing the same to mine. I have no idea whyIan felt like he could tell me that, but I’ll forever be honored that he trusted me with that.
“You telling me that means a lot to me,” I say through a sniffle.
“I can’t imagine telling anyone else.” His words are so serious and heartfelt that they bring a new round of tears.
It’s hard to reconcile the strength of the feelings I have for him after such a short amount of time, but there’s no ignoring them. I just need to figure out how to tell him, because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you’ll never know when the ones you love could be ripped away from you, and you’ll regret not telling them how you feel every chance you get.
It may not be love yet, but I have no doubt our connection will grow to that in no time at all.
Sippingmy coffee as I walk across the parking lot, happiness lightens my weary soul. It’s been so long since I’ve felt this happy. This last year has been the worst in my life, filled with fear, anger, and bitterness. But the last month with Ian has made everything I went through worth it. Like maybe the universe put me on that awful path to be right here, right now. I have no idea what the future might hold for me, but right now, it’s pure bliss.
I skip up the stairs to my apartment. Ian’s taking me out tonight. I don’t know where we’re going, but eagerness further brightens my mood. As much as I’ve loved the time we’ve spent at each of our places, I’m excited to go out and have a normal date. Unlocking my door, I step inside my apartment, a smile still on my face.
“Hello, Maggie.”
The coffee sloshes out of the cup as my hand jolts, and I release a startled yelp. Pressing my hand to my chest, I try to slow my racing heart as I glare at the man on my couch. “I don’t care if you’re law enforcement, you don’t get to just break into my apartment, Jenson.”
Jenson shrugs and stands. “I knocked first. You didn’t answer. I didn’t want to sit in my car.”
Rolling my eyes, I sigh as I slam my purse and coffee cup down on my small dining room table. “What do you want?”
His muffled footsteps come closer and stop a few feet behind me. “He’s a terrible idea.”
