Her green eyes popped open like they were burning with questions. We stared at each other for a while but I broke eye contact since I’m the older one. Plus, I knew all about her crush on Oran. I laughed to myself. She would have died if I’d called him to come instead of me. I left him with his mother where he belonged with no desire to impose on their bonding.
“Jagger?”
“Yes?”
“Do you believe in love?”
“Yes,” I answered honestly. “Do you?”
She scrunched her face as she considered the question. “I’d like to believe in it. Do you think it’s a choice or something you can’t control?”
I was beginning to wonder that myself. “I want to say a little of both. Maybe you can’t control it in the beginning but you must choose to keep it alive, you know?”
“I think so.”
She bit her lip and I felt like I could see the questions floating around in her head. Just Like A Star began. They were fucking killing me.
“Do you think love is a requirement for sex?” I wanted to be shocked by the question but I was at a high school prom and I know what Oran and I were trying to get from our dates.
“No. It isn’t. But that too is a choice. If you want to wait for love, wait. Any guy who cannot see you beyond what you can do for them sexually is a piece of shit and not worth a minute and especially not a lifetime.”
She nodded but dropped her head on my chest to hide her emotions. I hated that she was made to feel like she isn’t worth the effort because she was. I rested my chin on top of her head so she could hear me.
“Promise to always make them respect you, Karebear.”
“I promise.”
“Fuck,” I curse as I stand.
Heading back inside, I lock the balcony and go to my bedroom to get dressed. A bunch of bullshit is in the air but one thing is certain. For Karessa, I didn’t practice what I preached. I don’t regret the sex for a second but I need for her to know that I think the rest of her is equally great.
Just like prom, I didn’t mean to get emotionally invested but there’s something about her that makes me root for her, even if I have to fail for her to win. Our age differences aren’t in the way and Oran is married. I want to be worried that I haven’t known her long enough but being with Layla was a big fat waste of time.
I send an apology to my grandfather. “I’m sorry grandpa but if I have to choose between allowing your son to run the business into the ground or showing Karessa that she’s worthy of being chosen. I have to choose her.”
I kiss my fingers and flick them to the sky just as the elevator opens. Climbing on, I hit the ground floor.
I have some explaining to do.
Chapter Nine
Karessa
I haven't seenor spoken to Jagger since Sunday. Now that it's Wednesday night, I’m bugged by the silence. Not because he’s silent but because somehow twenty-four hours as his roommate was enough to get me attached. Had this happened before Oran’s wedding, I would have lived perfectly fine not hearing from him. In fact, I’ve gone months not talking to Jagger. This is what happens when someone lets you in and shows you other parts of themselves.
I tried to explain it to Esme and Imala during our spa day but Esme said I was “dickmatized” and Imala wanted to know exactly what about his dick had me hooked. I wanted to throw my shower shoes at them but they were a good distraction, nonetheless. Under normal circumstances, this would be a really cool staycation. The penthouse is beautiful and the room service is exquisite. But I’d opted to have dinner and people watch. I’d kept myself busy by checking on the details for the wedding and seeing if there is anything else we need for the ceremony.
The marriage part is a different story. I have no doubt the sex will be spectacular - we’ve proven that several times - but that’s not sustainable. We need something to talk about with our clothes on. A broken heart will take time to heal but I’d like some sort of sign that there’s hope on the other side. First, I need to make sure the wedding is going on as planned. I stroll through the lobby to the elevator thinking of our brief interactions over the years. He’s been nice and even flirty when he comments on my birthday photos, but I’d considered it being his usual self.
When he’d bring his ex around to the events, he was always sweet to her. I’d considered her quiet or shy since she isn’t in our social circle, but now I wonder if it was all a show. One of the biggest questions that has bothered me lately is did Jagger fuck her the way me does me. I’m not comparing us in that area, I’m curious to know if they were different together or if she was somehow immune to his touches.
She didn’t carry herself as a woman who knew all his dirty ways. Nor did she look at him like someone who craved his touch. It wasn’t in any of our places to say she was weird. If Oran didn’t say anything then who were we? I’m assuming he didn’t say anything. There’s no way they could be as close as they are and Jagger would still be with someone Oran expressly hated.
Either way, I hope he heals without living in the darkness of her absence. I get to the penthouse floor and use the golden key card to let myself in. All the mental back and forward has me ready to change and go to bed. I find Jagger standing in the middle of my hotel living room. His hair looks soft and product-free. His t-shirt clings to him just enough to hint at muscles beneath it. His jeans hang on his hips just the right way. He slides his hands in his pockets. The dip of his denim shows me just a sliver of his skin. Damn. Why didn’t I notice how sexy he is? There’s a partial smirk on his face once my eyes reconnect with his.
I’m relieved yet nervous at his appearance. He could be calling the whole thing off. I automatically think of how he held me in bed. I want some more but I must keep my cool until I know why he’s here.
“Jagger?” I breathe just above a whisper. I add more volume when I try again. “What brings you by?”
