Jagger
The puffof smoke escapes my lips. I watch it disappear into the night air. I live more in the city but on the balcony of my penthouse I can see the ocean moving in soft ripples. I stare out until I’m mesmerized by the sight and no longer thinking about the decision I need to make. It’s only been a few hours since the failed meeting but it’s been a long few days. It’s like my mom dropped a bomb on me and I’ve been pelted with the shrapnel ever since.
I take a sip of whiskey then another pull. I tap the ashes out.
“You’re not sharing, asshole?”
Oran takes his seat and passes me the glass he acquired on his way out. We know each other entirely too well. He felt my silence all the way across the island? I pour him some and continue to stare at the water as he sips his drink.
“Where’s Karessa?”
His question is to check my chattiness level. “At the hotel.”
“Hmmm.” He drinks some more.
Ten minutes later I give him a part of the problem. In fact, it’s the biggest issue. The rest is bullshit. I know I still have to learn a lot about Karessa, but I’m not such an asshole to save myself with little or no consideration.
“If I marry Karessa, my dad may become the majority shareholder. If I don’t, she’d be broke and in limbo until she finds another husband.”
“I see.” That’s his way of telling me he’s not offering advice. He knows I don’t want it. At least not right now.
“Yup.”
“Any idea which way you’re leaning?”
“I have no fucking idea.”
Oran downs the rest of his drink and stands. “Well, I have faith that no matter your decision, you’ll make it all work.”
He disappears just as quickly as he came. He wasn’t here to have a meeting about our feelings, he was making sure I’m alive. He’s not used to this much silence. I would have done the same damn thing. Actually, if he were single, I’d kick in the door of his house just because he had the audacity to try me by disappearing.
I’d considered moving Karessa in and waiting until the transfer of power to suggest modification but it’ll drive her crazy not having independence and there’s no guarantee Dondi will be willing to change it.
Maybe some music. I put on a random music station on the app on my phone. The music is soothing and it helps me not think. It’s a great mental noise cancelling method that helps me zone out. I’m almost asleep whenBuy U A Drankby T-Pain comes on. I can’t help the smile that ghosts my lips.
It’s a memory I don’t think about often, but I never forgot that night. I begin mouthing the words of the song.
“Oh shit, Karessa. This my shit.” I dance myself into the ballroom while pulling her through the crowd.
Blushing, she looked around at her classmates as she clings to me. “People are staring at us,” she whispers.
I know. I don’t give a shit. Karessa wouldn’t be at prom with a twenty-three-year-old if teenagers weren’t assholes. Smiling as I continue to snap, I offer her some encouragement.
“Then dance with me and give them something to watch.”
I wasn’t kidding. I couldn’t help but dance whenever the song came on. Karessa looked beautiful in a red backless number and heels. The color made her green eyes pop and her hair was straightened. The asshole who stood her up is beyond dumb. Karessa was one of the nicer Founder kids who didn’t have fucked up parents. If her beauty and niceness wasn’t a good reason to stay, her status should have done the trick. Dumbasses. We have two things to worry about. People who try to use us for our status and people who hate us for being born into our families like we had control over that. It can be a lonely birdcage but I had Oran. It’s not many Founder kids on the island Karessa’s age. We’re either older or younger.
She loosens up by the next song bleeds into the mix. Get it Shawty started bumping and the big cheese that showed all the metal in her mouth told me this was one of her songs. It filled me with joy to see her happy. When I found her in the lobby restaurant in full prom attire and almost in tears I felt capable of killing whoever was responsible.
She dances harder and I sing the lyrics to her. Her giggle is full of teenage innocence even at eighteen but she was backing it up on me by the time the chorus hit again. We grabbed something to drink during Because of You.
I watched Karessa dance in place while she sang all the words to the song. I wanted to know if I’d ever feel for anyone the way the song suggested. We started to dance again once we were done with our drink. I was grateful that I paid attention in mandatory dance lessons as I spun her then we picked it back up.
The song ended with Ne-Yo singing about the sweetest drug and it was funny because I was thinking that about her smile. I kept going when Bubbly came on. I didn’t want her to feel weird about dancing with me to a slower song. She’d follow my lead. If I were relaxed like slow dancing wasn’t a big deal, so would she.
“I love this song,” she sighed and mouthed the words with her eyes closed.
“It’s a good song,” I agreed.
