Oran jumps out the moment Karessa pulls up and runs into the hospital.
“Go with him. I’ll park,” she assures me.
Karessa is a sweetheart who’s almost built to be the sounding board and hugger in these scenarios, but that’s not how I process - which is why I volunteer to make calls and send her to the waiting room with Oran once she makes it inside. Oran needs the gentle distraction while I need a moment. I ignore how my hand shakes when I dial.
“What?” Mikos answers on the second ring.
“Hey. I need the info for Ainslee’s heart doctor. The hospital is acting like they don’t know who the fuck Oran is and not updating us on her condition.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” he growls at me.
“Ainslee collapsed at my wedding…”
The line goes dead but I get a text with the info a few seconds later. He doesn’t need to tell me what I already know. He’s on the way.
I forward the information to Oran then wander aimlessly trying to push the memories aside to get out of my own shit and worry about Oran and Ainslee but I don’t like hospitals much more than he does. When Jamie died, I could feel he was gone, but it was confirmed at the hospital. Absently, I rub the tattoo on my ribs not realizing I’m standing in front of the dialysis room. Bethany used to have a private one when she came, but the items are the same: the basic blue chair that I’d push back for her to recline, the machine for her treatment, and the television for company.
Leaning on the wall, I think about one of the last times I’d taken her.
I had my superman comic to read to her. It used to amuse her that people would say Oran looked like he was a superhero. I’d just finished and looked up at her as I closed it. Her brown hair had lost some of its luster. Her light eyes shone with so many emotions, and she was paler than usual. Beth looked tired and I wished there was a way to breathe life back into her but I know how those donor lists work.
“Jagger...” she started but I didn't like her tone.
“No ma’am. We’re not doing this today.”
She gave me a soft smile but continued anyway. “Promise me you’ll keep him grounded. My baby is filled with a lot of love and he needs the right people to bring it out. Elmer isn’t one of them. Oran will need a friend more than ever when I’m gone.”
My throat hurt but I nodded anyway. I hated the emotions she was pulling forward. I’ve ranted in the past about unfair things happening to the good ones while the evil ones move on with business as usual. It wasn’t fair. Shaking my head, I pushed back my feelings to respond.
“I will, but you’re getting better.”
She smiled as if she knew otherwise. “I know it’s a lot to ask but keep him sane and get Wyn back in his life. He’s going to need constant reminders that there are better people than his father.”
Then she was gone a little over a month later.
I push off the wall and swipe at my tears. After I find the nearest bathroom, I splash water on my face then give myself a mental pep talk. It’s time to be there for my friend. Ainslee will live. She will not reject Jamie’s heart, and I will not feel like I’m losing him again. Once I’m sure I look as normal as I can, I join them in the waiting room.
Karessa
I felt so useless.Oran looked so lost clutching her items while pacing and Jagger had disappeared. I did my best to ask him little things to keep his mind from slipping into that place I saw him trying to go. It worked until Jagger came back and I was able to breathe a little easier. Ainslee's family showed up sans her mother which was weird for me since my mom would have been so deep in the hospital, she would have had her own lab coat and scrubs.
I don’t know her dynamic with her mother but I couldn’t help but hug Ainslee so she knows at least some female gives a fuck about her scare. News that she was okay had filled me with such relief, I couldn’t explain the feeling. Jagger’s relief was obvious with the way he hugged her then we made ourselves scarce to allow the family to get after care instructions.
Now, we’re back at Jagger’s penthouse. Or is it our penthouse? I look at my ring again. Yeah, still there. I really did marry Jagger Hanlon today. It’s still so surreal. The closest thing to a date we had was prom and even then he was just being a gentleman to a fellow Founder’s kid. I’m finishing the chamomile tea I made to calm my nerves. Jagger opted to go straight to the shower. He’s in bed lying in the dark when I make it to his-our room. It doesn’t feel like a wedding night but with everything that happened I understand. I personally haven’t had to sit in an emergency room waiting for news on someone who’s been a constant in my life.
I opt to take a long shower to give him time to fall asleep. I inhale the lavender of my herbal soap with my eyes closed to relax. The warm water relaxes my muscles and I give myself reminders of what I learned last time.He doesn’t want your comfort. He doesn’t want your questions. Let him process.
Resolved, I end my shower and finish my bedtime routine. I don’t bother with clothes since it’d require me to turn on lights and dig around. Gingerly, I get in the bed but stay as far on my side as possible to give Jagger his space.
“I’m starting to feel like you’re avoiding me,” he says in the dark.
The surprise of his voice and words has me popping up. “No. I’m not avoiding you.”
“Oh, yeah? Then why are you one sneeze from falling your ass on the floor in this big ass bed?”
The irritation and hint of hurt in his voice confuses me. I’m stunned into silence for a beat but find my voice shortly after. “I’m giving you the space you want.”
“When did I ask you for space?”
